I am trying not to hide from ME the one that hides from everyone. The one that always feels not good enough, the one who would crumble under judgement, the one who wanted to be more. I have recently been able to come out of hiding with the help of Graham and this group. I speak my truth and be the best ME I can be. Those that appreciate who I am and what I offer to the world will stand with me. I was chasing validation, acceptance, and true self love. I am still working on those pieces of me that struggle but i don't define myself ---as much--by the actions of others. I am in control of my own feelings, actions/reactions, and who I choose to be in my inner circle. It is not easy and i will work on this the rest of my life, I am sure, but, I am the captain of this ship so to speak.
No, it is not easy and is a lifelong pursuit! It sounds like you have faced these things head on, and I congratulate you for that. I think facing the things we are hiding from is half the battle. It's uncomfortable, sometimes painful, but essential for happiness.
I couldn't have expressed her feelings as my own in such a way myself. Chasing my tail was in trying to be something I'm not but felt I should be. I wasn't the sharpest cookie in the basket and always had to push myself twice as hard as others to succeed . I went through life always comparing myself to others and wandering why I wasn't more motivated in my life choices like Mrs. Gambero? I had this feeling of being this tiny ant crawling in the thickened grass unkown and unworthy. Bottom line is I am a simple person who lives a simple life and feel content . I'm not a hermit because I do socialize but my preference is considered an introvert. I no longer feel a need to chase my tail to become something that I'm not. I don't need money, no fancy clothes, no expensive cars nor jewels to survive in this life. As is said, money doesn't buy happiness but must be utilized properly as in to give as to receive as Graham understands and appreciates this validation of and through himself. He shares such wisdom that he has acquired through his own research about the importance of life's pathway. Graham has used his creative talents and abilities to guide us to find our own sense of being and existence as it is here on Earth. We thank him for giving us that shared knowledge. Graham is our inspiration to be who we are or to become a better person rather than forever chasing our tail in wander of what one could've been. Are we honoring our selves in remaining stagnant or shall we stop chasing our tail to confront that person in our own being? I am who I am and who I want to be just a simple person living a simple life who believes in a higher being, peace among all humans, joy and happiness in the simplest of terms, and being able to express one's gratification for the life one has to share with others. Remember, we are not here to conquer but instead to stop chasing our tail and confront those hidden dreams we have for so long hidden. The elder;ly woman in this picture is smiling with beautiful eyes telling us that life is an adventure that she has willingly experienced which has given her joy and earned her great wisdom. She didn't need to chase her tail to know who she is nor what she desired in life. She is a simple woman who found her gratification in life where age is not of essence. Me.
Bonnie, you're expressing exactly how I feel here. Thank You! I thought I had already made so much progress in captaining my own ship. I thought I understood. However, this week I experienced how difficult it is to actually apply it in my daily life. I've fallen into the trap again of chasing desires and expectations, the feeling of being inferior.... A lifelong work indeed... I will fall a thousand more times, but also get up more and more. We will not giving up 💕
Bonnie we are all enough to ourselves! If the exterior world and those around us do not feel we are enough, they are free to seek fulfillment elsewhere. It is not your job to direct them where to go! Be mindful that the only one to please is yourself. The rest of the world revolves around you and is skewed!
Bonnie, upon reading your comment, I felt like you were writing for me. I'm so happy that you are on the journey of self discovery & found your truth. I wish you all the best as you continue on this journey. 🙏
Graham - like you, for part of my life I also sought the approval of others to validate my own insecurities. That left me with the feeling of unworthiness, not loving myself, etc. As these thoughts permeated into my very soul, it also led me to over eat and neglect my health. As I'm sitting here writing this with tears rolling down, admitting that I haven't taken very good care of myself physically is not at all easy for me, but I feel led to share this with this community. It's part of the healing process for me and also to stop hiding from it and get out of my comfort zone.
Things have gradually changed over the last several years for the better. Through a renewal of my faith in God, I said enough is enough to those toxic thoughts/lies that I placed on myself. I have a new profound appreciation for life, loving and encouraging others as well as loving and appreciating myself. Each of us have a lot to offer one another and this world. Why did it take so long for me to do this, who knows, but I can say since joining this community, my life has forever changed for the better. I've introduced exercise and choosing healthier and nutritional eating regiments into my daily routine, and the praise is that I'm gradually losing weight and feeling so much better. I have a ways to go on this journey, but I believe I will get there. It's a life style change, but I will take it one day at a time. My friends have noticed a change in me and I have to.
Graham, your poems, this community, along with my faith have helped me to grow in self love and appreciation for life. We're given this one life, and we need to make each moment count.
Thank you for letting me share this today. It's not easy to do, but I felt that tug on my heart a little bit ago, and I think for me it's part of the healing process.
Thanks again Graham, and blessings to you and this community. Cheers!
I can so relate, I also allowed myself to eat my feelings to the point I weighed over 330 ibs and my doctor said fix it or die. Now we just have to live with the consequences for those choices, but as long as I'm on this side of the dirt change can and will still happen.
Amen Bev. I'm fortunate that I'm in good health and on no prescribed medication for my age. There is a definite profound change in my life now that I'm truly grateful for. Change can happen if we choose to let it. If I didn't believe it then, I certainly believe it now. By the grace of God, it can and hopefully will happen. One day at a time. Thank you!
Anne it is such a cathartic opportunity to belong to this supportive community. We all have work we do daily to vanquish the demons of the past and shine our lights on the truth of today and the future. You are courageous and bold in seizing what Graham has created here for all of us together with your own wonderful energy. 💜🙏🏻
Thanks Sherry! I do appreciate it very much. This community is simply amazing and I'm so grateful to Graham for creating this platform for us to share and support one another.
You are not alone on this journey. You are an intelligent, amazing person, as well as friend. I have faith that you will reach your goals. Thanks for all the inspiration and for sharing. Love to you!
Well done Anne for having the courage & drive to do something. You sound like you have found a new lease on life & I'm glad that you are part of this community. That you have comfort in it like I have. There are so many inspiring people here that share their stories. Just like you. 🙏💖
Thanks ChristIne. Part of sharing this today is the healing process to truly loving myself and knowing that we’re all worthy. I need to stop hiding behind that hurt and encourage others and not neglect myself in the process. I love being a part of this community and I’m glad you are too! Blessings to you also! 🙏🏻❤️
Anne - I'm right there with you - the eating and health is also a factor for me not feeling worthy - but I know deep down I do love myself - just affair to show it sometimes in fear I might upset someone. I know I need to worry about ME - trust in G-d & and take one day at time - blessing to you my friend and congratulations on winning the dance contest and enjoy that zoom. Cheers 🍻
Thanks Jody. For me, I don't worry to much any more about upsetting someone. I guess part of that could be as we age, we grow a little wiser I think. But also, I have to be true to myself and if someone else doesn't like me, then that's their choice and I have to go on. That song in the 1st group chat really got me going I guess. I downloaded it and I've played it about every morning to get the blood pumping. Blessings and Cheers to you my friend!
Anne, I love seeing your heart under my posts. I appreciate your encouragement. Good luck focusing on your health!!! Life coaches often say it's the journey that counts, not the destination. ~ Jan xoxo
Totally agree Jan. So far, it's been an incredible journey. I really can't put it in words. When you open your heart, love yourself, and start to see your TRUE self, Wow, is all I can say right now. My focus is God first, but with that, encouraging and loving others. I'm so blessed beyond words. Thank you!
Beautifully said Ann i also felt useless didn’t stand up for myself but since reading Graham’s wonderful readings and this lovely group who support everyone i have lost 3stone through eating healthy and walking ♥️💕💕💕🇬🇧🙏
Thanks Sue. With this morning's poem, I'm no longer hiding, but I needed to admit it somehow on a public forum where I felt comfortable enough as part of the healing process. I'm truly grateful for my age, etc., that I have no known health issues at this time, etc. The time is now. I want to use this time to encourage others as well.
I totally forgot today was Tuesday, what a pleasant surprise after receiving a difficult phone call!
What am I no longer hiding from? What am I chasing that no longer serves me?
Well, I’m no longer hiding from my ex husband online. I stopped giving him that power and it took a weight off my shoulders.
What I’m chasing that no longer serves me is the desire to chose outcomes. How is this situation going to play out? What can I do to make this situation play out the way I want it to? And when the situation didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to, I would berate myself harshly! What did I do wrong? Why did I have to do whatever I did to mess it up?
When in all reality, it played out the way it was meant to play out. Things turned out the way they were meant to in God’s great plan and it had nothing to do with me or what I did whatsoever!
I’m learning to place it at God’s feet and leave it but the learning curve it broad.
Aimee, Self flagellation, whipping ourselves, the worse pain ever! You are sooooo good at supporting others, now it is time to put yourself first. Live as God sees you. There is the story where the person screams - “God, I have been begging and praying and you have abandoned me” and he answers, “I have been throwing you the rope, you have to pick it up.” He does show us the way, the light, the plan. You are a beautiful, worthy woman Aimee, who is evolving, in discovery. I know you stand on the edge of a painful precipice right now, you are not alone. I love you!
There is a great book by Gary Thomas called When to Walk Away. It can be used when it comes to marriages or family relationships or friendships. I highly recommend it. I have a very dysfunctional family and in the sense that even Lifetime probably couldn't show it. I felt like that being a Christian I HAD to have relationship with people in order to love them to Christ (even an ex) but no I didn't. You plant the seed, He waters it. Praying for you!!!
The issue of control and of responsibility loomed large for me as well. It’s difficult to let that go because we think we can be masters of insuring that those we love are protected , by us. But that is not reality. Sometimes I found that in striving to protect, I ended up being triangulated into a path in which I did not belong. I’m sure you felt that too Aimee. The realization is half the cure I think. 💜💜🙏🏻
Interesting! Lately that old saying "Let Go, Let God," has been reverberating in my head all day and even when I go to sleep. Great quote from one of my favorite books, Philippians.
Aimee these months that I was able to follow you, I saw a person who went from being afraid of showing her image to one who started showing her true self.
Your journey is spectacular. you are doing an amazing job!
Well done with not letting your ex control you & taking back your power. I know what you mean when it comes to outcomes. Wanting to have that control & always saying 'what if'. I suffer from this & try to let it go. It's difficult, but you have found a way to help you & I pray that you continue to have faith in yourself. 🙏
Aimee, I’ve only gotten to know you a short time ago but I’ve seen you evolve into such a wonderful person. The person you are now has always been there. Thank you for letting me get to know you,
You are spot on with your comments, Aimee. Anytime things haven't gone "my way" in my life, I usually realize later, that they played out the way they were intended to (according to God's plan like you said!)! Thanks for sharing this.
Graham you once again have unearthed more subconscious dirt from our living grave!! Throughout life, we reach for unattainable goals that frustrate us, we settle for attainable, easier goals that do nothing for us spiritually. This poem is the process of maturing and realizing that we live for what is truly important to us spiritually, deeper in our hearts and learn to ignore those pitfalls of taking the easy way out! It’s a revelation when we reach and attain that journey toward true satisfaction in our spirit and in our souls. Isn’t life after death often the legacy we have left behind for those we have truly touched that are still reaching for their own satisfaction before they cross the threshold? Bravo Graham for another gem!
Thank you Graham for another inspiring poem. So powerful and thought provoking! It really has made me think as I have fallen in the past to the trap where I was very insecure and was chasing validation,& acceptance , and all I wanted was to be successful. These things are no longer important to me and have I learned to self love, thanks the help and guidance from the love of my life! It wasn’t easy to change and get to where I am today but believe me when you achieve it it’s a wonderful feeling ❤️I’m so grateful ! 🙏❤️
I agree Irene. It is a wondrous feeling. I am in awe that I did not see it before but I am forever grateful that I am now fully awake. It sounds as if you feel the same!
It took a bad experience for me to not always go somewhere especially if I wasn’t invited. I must admit I was looking for acceptance most of my youth. I was living in the bottom of a church with 7 other young people. A man was a big supporter asked us to go to his ranch and work. I drove there and placed my keys on the seat of the car. Someone had gotten into my car and managed to lose those keys. The man yelled at me all the way home. He told me how stupid I was and that I should not have come with the others because I had not been invited. I have never cried so much in my life. Even the others felt sorry for me. I don’t just go places now and I don’t befriend people who don’t deserve me. I look for beautiful people who have golden hearts. I don’t look for things to be improved. It’s wonderful to be liked but I’ve been disappointed so if someone doesn’t like me I leave it and them alone. I no longer try to meet other’s expectations of me. People who make me feel inferior I don’t cry when I lose them. My search for meaning now is learning new things because my yesterdays were busy trying to please people instead of making myself happy. These poems make me exceedingly happy. They are coming from a true friend’s heart.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”. Until we learn that, we are trapped in a cocoon . Once we believe it, we become free and fly like the butterfly we’ve become.
This maybe true but when you’re in your early 20’s you haven’t developed your self defenses yet and getting hurt is a high possibility. When we speak to young people we need to think before we speak.
So true!! We see the world much differently than a young person in their 20's or even 30's. I was so naive and took things so much more personally back then. There is something to be said for getting older!!!
I didn’t learn to speak up for myself until I was 32 yrs old. Experience and age speak volumes. We must be gentle and wise with our words and actions and it starts from birth.
You have overcome those voices that told you you weren't wanted or enough and have set a shelter around yourself that allows you to have confidence in how God sees you. You are a friend to many and share wisdom generously. I appreciate you! 💕
Graham, you like getting us to dig around those deep places inside ourselves, don’t you? This was an interesting exploration for me. I think for a long time I was hiding from my own insecurities that I couched in perfectionism. Was I smart enough, appealing enough, good enough? All those questions hid under my own over-achieving. There’s a fine line between living up to your potential and trying to prove your value. I strove at trying to be the best student, best friend, best wife, best mom, best worker and not accept my own failings and humanity. I didn’t want to try things I wasn’t already good at for fear of failure. It was actually an amazing group of friends who taught me to not be afraid to be myself and that I was worthy of love and acceptance just for who I am and not anything I did or accomplished. They are still my closest “tribe”. There’s so much freedom in learning to love yourself with your weaknesses as well as your strengths and to set aside the façade that you tend to hide behind. I’m a work in progress. I still like to be good at things, but now I’m able to be comfortable with not being the best and even helping others to be their best and not seeing that as my failure. It’s never too late to evolve and expand!
Cathey, I can so relate to what you're saying. I especially like the line, "There's a fine line between living up to your potential and trying to prove your value". For so long I was constantly striving to prove I was a good person, smart enough, talented enough ,witty enough....and on and on and on. That mindset not only made me feel competitive with others, but with myself as well. I must keep improving myself, I thought. Finally the light bulb lit up and I realized I must learn to relax and be me, the one created in God's image, the one God says is wonderfully made, the one Christ died for. Knowing God loved me warts and all, made all the difference in the world. My motivation became pleasing Him rather than others. In the end I ended up loving God more, others more, and even myself more. Amazing love indeed!
I love this response, Mary! You have described the "old" me to a t! I just read a great book, "The Cure" and it helped me sort the difference between trying to please God and just trusting God. For me, even my trying to please God became another something I felt the need to be perfect at. Now I understand that trusting God IS pleasing Him. Learning to see ourselves as God does and loving ourselves as He does is where we need to be, right? It's wonderful to know others share our journey. 💕
I love your response Cathey. I need friends like you who don’t make me feel inferior and encourage me. By you being yourself I’ve learned that you were someone I would have liked when I went to Bible study. Strong but beautifully humble.
Very eloquently put Cathey! I liked especially I am comfortable with not being the best but helping others to be their best and not seeing it as a failure on your part. Bullseye! After when someone else achieves or overachieves it is a win in our column as well!
Spoken by a true teacher! I learned a long time ago you teach yourself you help one, you teach others and they go out and teach others you ultimately teach thousands
Thank you for that share Cathey. Perfection is elusive. I’m not at all sure it even exists. I think we try to be the “best” because we believe we are not. At least that was true for me and sometimes still is. Also work in progress!
I agree that overachieving is often a cover for our own insecurities. I've let go of a lot of my perfectionistic tendencies, but I spent a lot of years building them, so they don't fall easily.
Thank you for this poem Graham. All my adult life I have tried to connect with Father God and found that I struggled with that. I know this was due to the fact that I basically never had a father as my dad suffered from PTSD from WW2 and spent months on end in hospital only home for short periods between and just before I turned 11 he was hit by a car and killed. But the other day I had the revelation of the fact that I had never learnt how to relate to a father and so that was hindering me from connecting with God in a very huge way, I am now trying to process this with God's help and although I am almost 75 I know that if I keep working on this I will be free to relate not only to God in a more positive way but to others as well.
Sometimes it takes a lifetime to unearth what is holding us back. I'm glad God is giving you understanding and grace to be able to draw nearer to Him. ❤
This happens more than you know. I didn't have a PTSD father, although he was a marine. I just had a emotionally dead father and I was raised by him. So trying to understand that intimate loving father when some friend from school would invite me to church (I wasn't raised in church) was so completely alien to me. It took me having to become completely broken and I mean broken to fully grasp His undying love for me. Hugs to you!
Teresa, I'm sorry about your dad & how this impacted your life. To come to the realisation & act on what had hindered you must've been sad but helpful so that you could begin to heal. I pray for you as you continue on this journey my friend. 💖🙏
I was at work this morning, when I saw Graham’s poem. I had sometime so I put my ear buds in and listened to Graham talk about the poem he wrote. I had to of listened to it at least 6 times. I struggled at first my co-worker could attest to that. I even got her to read the poem. Quite frankly I’ve been letting her read Graham’s poem’s. I think I just might have her hooked LOL.
Well I’ve been thinking a lot about Graham’s poem it’s taken all day and some tears shed. I think after really thinking on it I’ve come to the realization that I no longer hide myself.I speak up for myself which I’ve never really done because of how people would think of me. I can’t be afraid anymore and that was my biggest fear of all.
I would be the one who wouldn’t raise their hand to ask a question in school or would sit by herself and read because people thought differently of me. I’ve worked hard to be where I’m at today because I didn’t give up. I’m very proud of the person I’ve become because I fought so hard as Graham would say I put in the work and remained true to me and no one else.
I’ve also at times do find myself chasing my tail. Because I’m looking for acceptance from others. I should know that the acceptance from others shouldn’t mean anything as long as you love yourself with your whole heart. I’ve struggled with accepting this. I’m learning each day with Gods help and praying to love myself regardless of the out come.
Graham I know I’ve said this a few times. I don’t think I’ve ever encountered a soul like yours ever till now. God as truly blessed you and us with your wisdom and generosity. The people in this community that have been literally saved by what you write in your poem’s. You make all of us think and what to better ourselves by your gift. I wouldn’t be putting myself out there if it wasn’t for you. So thank you so very much for coming into our lives and sharing your wonderful gift. God bless.
Shari your story is so reminiscent of bygone experiences. I too would sit at school knowing an answer but being afraid to put up
My hand for fear others would bully me. I recall when younger my hand would shoot up all the time. That’s when the teasing began. That forced me to second guess myself. In one way or another that effects decisions made and character chiseled for years to come. I haven’t thought of that for a very long time. Thank you for helping me to touch that again!
I could not agree more with your comments about Graham. I have learned so much about myself through his efforts and generosity of spirit and love. It’s a priceless gift he gives which has and continues to nourish this community. We are blessed. 🙏🏻💜
Thank you Sherry, it’s hard to forget those things that happened when we were in school. I use to play sick so I didn’t have to go to school. I remember when I was on the bus going to school I had the courage to face one of the kids making fun of another girl. The next day I was on the bus I had something poured on my head that really smelled. I actually had to take a shower at school to wash my hair.. Then having to stay at school. The kids all made fun of me that was the worst day. I was always bullied. Though I hung in there because my parent taught me to be strong it was so hard. So I’m glad that there is someone else out there that understand how I feel. So thank you for your kind words it means a lot.
Oh how horrible. Those were the worst times. I had to act dumb because being able to respond meant you were singling yourself out. School was the worst until the later years of high school. Now I realize that they were envious. Still it does stay with you in one form or another.
It took me till now and the writing of Grahams poems to figure that out. It’s funny how someone you never meet can make you see that your worthy even when your loved ones tried to tell you. My mom has always been my rock. I just was to hurt inside to see that she was right.
Happy Tuesday Graham, I look forward of your new poem release each week. Over 36 years ago I was in a corporate world working and one day I feel suffocated just thinking coming to work in this place? I needed changes to reach my goals and accomplish my dreams. I am very exhausted of impressing so many individuals to like me or be accepted to their group. I was burning inside that I needed to get out because if I continue down this path I will be losing myself .The one you’ve always lived, you can’t expect changes to come- the ones you’ve always needed. I decided to go back to school in medical field and take care our 8 year old very active little boy ,husband and my mother in law. I was in fast pace goal driven to society .It took me awhile to realize that I needed to change and not hide myself. God comes in with a quiet reassuring voice to remind me that I am worthy, He is not finished with me yet; those dreams have not returned to dust , and those fears of being accepted need to be abolished and filled with faith. Maybe God placed me in a new position set in a new direction in life. “ Be strong and courageous , do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you .” Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV . I no longer chases my dreams to be on top on society.I am very content of where I am today .Cheers🙏❤️
Lucy, so eloquently written. The sweet beauty is within you. Anyone can hear that in what you wrote. Thank you for the smile reading this brought to my face. Sending many hugs 🙏🏻💜
Thank you Sherry it means a lot, I am slowly moving forward with my struggles with this amazing support from this group is endless my healing is progressing well.
Wow Graham I’m laughing to myself I wasn’t even going to comment this week because it takes me forever to do so lol ... but once you explained your poem and said you where always looking for validation from other people I laughed because I thought well you just explained me! You are definitely my child from another life I’ve said this before! Validation causes a lot of disharmony in our lives I know from personal experience it’s a work in progress for me but I’m finally at the point where I don’t need it from anyone as long as it’s right in my mind and I’m not hurting anyone I don’t need anyones validation to make me feel good about myself anymore and to create harmony in my life all I need is me and what feels right to me I was always striving to fit in and their are many bullies out there that will cause you to feel that way but the the best way is not to fit in to stand on your own two feet and accepting who you are and not needing someone telling you if your right or wrong or basically validate your existence in this world ❤️
Halina- I agree with all you wrote - accepting ourselves IS all
the validation necessary, as long as we believe we are on our path and not injuring others. People pleasing is not a tribute to our own energy or our truth. It is a broad arch as Aimee said to reach that point. Society, the matrix, has done a masterful job in teaching us otherwise. Thank you for your words.
My whole life until recently has been about searching for affirmation - to feel worthy of love ❤ nothing I achieved ever filled that hole inside. Every qualification and every relationship, every job and every success - nothing gave me the feeling I was seeking. A feeling of wholeness. I understand now that I can only find what I seek when I am still and silent and in tune with my soul. When I am in that place - aligned with my higher self, then I am truly free. Every day I feel the pieces of my heart returning like pieces of a giant jigsaw. 💔 I am no longer broken. I am healing. It has been a long journey- but it is getting easier. I love who I am becoming through it all. Thank you for all your support here and for your inspiring poem.🙏
Graham thank you for this beautiful poem. I’m going to relate with teresa a little bit . As I said before I lost my dad at the age of 7 . I was so young that I didn’t really understand why I didn’t have a father figure in my life . As I was getting a little older I was always chasing the fact that I wanted my dad in my life. And has a couple more years went by I started to realize why he wasn’t in my life and that god took him home. He worked in the Buchans mines and he came of work on a Friday evening and he said to my mom I don’t feel well I’m haveing a lot of chest pains so we rush him to the hospital that night to Grand Falls and 2 days later he pass with a mass of heart attack. So I truly believe that god was waiting to bring him home in the moment when he was having those chest pains.he pass away at the age of 61. I would do anything to bring him back just to see him.I’m been chasing this for years and still am not a day go by that I don’t talk about him. Now it’s only now that I’m realizing that I have to let this go that I can’t be chasing this the rest of my life .my dad was my pride and joy of what I can remember. Now I know he’s in a better place and that’s he’s happy pain free. I honestly believe god knew he was ready to go home may you Rest In Peace daddy❤️ And my mother well she raised me until I moved out on my own she was a very sick woman after my dad passed she was diagnosed with early cant spell the word so I will say brain loss at the age of 32 very young to start loosing your memory then a few years after she was diagnosed with bowel cancer and she was epileptic so I was the one that has to take care of her I done my very best until I couldn’t handled her anymore I feel very ashamed today that I put her in a home until her final day when god called her home. At the age of 61 as well I’m still chasing from this day cause I wanted to give her the best from me but it was just very difficult to handle her.I reflect on this every day on a daily basic it keeps chasing me haunting me and I try to move away and say mom I done this for your good to make sure that you were kept safe . I know she hated me for doing it but I follow my heart telling me I’ve made the right choice. No body want to see there family drifting apart by when sickness enrolled you have to take a leap of faith step in and do your work. I love this group because you are expressing your life to everyone and it makes you feel more relieved to get it out and how people understand what your life is all about. Trust me I didn’t have a easy life I learned the hard way to maintain a life for my self. Thank you Graham for asking this deep question and yes I’m still chasing it but I don’t see no service .all the best Graham many blessings to you ❤️❤️❤️
Can no longer be chasing this in my life it’s not serving me anything by chasing it.I just have to let it go.my mom tried to finish raising me the best way she could until she took sick herself she was diagnosed with brain loss can’t spell the word at the of 32 then she was diagnosed with bowel cancer which she would not take any treatments she just live day by day and she was also eptletic seizure so. Had to do my very best try to take care of her plus trying to go to school . I spent more time at home then I did in school cause I was worried about my mom so had the years went on it was getting very difficult to take care of her . Yes I’m going to say I am very guilty and ashamed for removing her from her home and putting her in a long term facility. I follow my heart because if I didnt both of us would be in danger. So I knew that way she would be I. A safe place . Good call her home in 2004 at the age of 61 I’m still chasing this in my everyday life and I know that it’s not services me any but I will hold the guilt with me. She hated so much but I told her I don’t this for you sake not mine I wanted you to be just safe. And there was days that I feel very unworthy to my self that I’m not like I hated my life for a long time cause of what I did. So one c I thought maybe I’ll go down bring my mom up for get weekends and then bring her back. Guess that plan didn’t work out so well yes I brought her but she wouldn’t leave to go back she said I’m living with you I said no your not you going back where you live. It was a struggle a fight aruguments words being said but after so long she left. I feel very terrible in the choices in my life that I had to make god my mom it not easy it’s hard alot tears when you see her walking out the door baggage and all wow these is very emotional for me right now, I have to end this now thanks to everybody for reading everyone comment and big shout out to Graham wardle for get us to share what we feel in our everyday life. God bless you Graham ❤️❤️❤️💜💜💜
There comes a time , when caring for someone with debilitating health ,that we have to admit to ourselves we cannot give them the care they need and deserve. Given the condition of health you described ,she most likely could not make decisions about what was best for her. You made them for her from your heart.
You did the best for your mum & family. The guilt is terrible, I know, but she needed specialist help. Help from people qualified to assist her & take care of her. It's difficult, but was the right thing to do.
Thank you so much Lori for keeping me in courage I will always have that guilt hanging over me it very hard to let it go I try to work with him but it just makes me very emotional feels that I could do more but I was only a teenager I was 18 when I left on my own and I didn’t look back. Thank you for your kind words.
Roxanne all we can do in life is the best that we can! If you make the effort that is what counts. If it comes from a place of love that is what counts. If you give of yourself that is what counts! Too often we look back and beat ourselves up thinking we could have done more. We could have said more or said it differently. The past can not be changed; however, it is never too late for you to change. Remember you did the best you could do under the circumstances. You are not divine. You can't change fate.
Absolutely I can’t changed the past but the guilt and frustration is always bringing me down I try very hard to deal with it and I won’t push it away I will work through it. Thank you for all your in courageous words it just melts the heart to know someone understand and are going through it the same as me.
Roxanne we all can just do the very best we can. I was in this place similarly with my own mother. I understand completely. No one can with words take away the deepest feeling we have about these types of situations. I finally had to accept that which I could not fathom completely and integrate it into my life experience. Transform it. Therein lay the peace I was seeking. I wish the same for you. 🙏🏻💜
I'm sorry for all that you have gone through. It's extremely difficult to place a parent in a home, but when we can't provide the specialist care they need, it's the best thing for them & everyone concerned. Take care.
I felt the same way. I had an empty hole in my heart that nothing would fill. And then I learned about self love. I absolutely love who am I! This crazy, weird, goofball with lots of love to give. I’m glad you have reached that point as well, it’s a wonderful feeling ❤️
Graham...the theme of your poem and your explanation of it has presented a tremendous challenge for me and I pondered about whether I had the courage to comment. But I decided that I have to address your points about my security/worthiness in the past and what is it that I have been hiding for most of my life. First security/worthiness. In my past I was verbally abused by a close family member, mostly about my job successes...receiving comments such as "you're not that good in the job..." These encounters and comments played heavily on my mind throughout my career. I worked in executive level jobs many of which were in positions appointed by the Governor. I was very fortunate as I was appointed by Governors of both parties over a 15 year span. In these jobs I always felt insecure and unworthy in them and I found myself constantly stressing out when I had to appear before legislative committees representing the Governor on his tax proposals. My mind kept reminding me of the comments made by that family member. And during any presentation I had to withstand abusive questioning and comments by legislators from the "other" party...definitely making me feel insecure and unworthy. On one occasion I had to withstand questions for over 2 hours on a tax transformation project for which I crafted the legislation and which I had designed the legislative provisions whereby the $150 million project (the largest in the country at that time) was paid for through only increased revenues from increases in performances over a predetermined baseline. During my testimony one legislator drilled me and I was extremely stressed but answered his questions truthfully and with outward appearance of confidence...definitely not confident on the inside. After my testimony one well known lobbyist came forward and said that my testimony was "masterful." I certainly did not feel so. And then the legislator who was hammering me grabbed me in the hall and said "you were great...I hope you didn't take it personally." I share all this because I was never able to enjoy feeling secure in or worthy in the jobs I was in throughout my career.
Now what am I hiding. While I cannot share it because it is so personal, I can say it is something I have lived with in elementary school, in high school and somewhat in college and even today. Through believing in a higher power I have manage to continue to live a life full of happiness and love and peace with myself. I have learned to manage this particular issue. I know that I could never bring these periodic dark times in my life to a full open disclosure. But what I can do is to continue to manage my thoughts and continue to live a loving and productive life. You know Graham, for me to share this much information about myself with you and this community is a testament to the impactful way in which you have affected my life in such meaningful ways. I feel better for opening up so to speak about my insecurities and my hidden issue and I hope no one is bored with my comments. This poem has brought out these personal thoughts about myself...yes I'm trying hard to find my truth about me. Thanks you my friend...and bless you Graham in such enormous ways!
I’m honoured by your courage and openness Mr. Payne. Thank you for being a great example to everyone here. I appreciate your willingness to share what you wanted while honouring yourself with the details you wish to keep private. I’m grateful my short piece of writing and this community has been of value to you🙏🏼
Graham…first thing please call me Danny … and thanks much for your response. I really believe in what you do to challenge me to better understand myself. Like you I love life but I have found a much stronger meaning of what that really means to me since being inspired by your work…🙏
Danny. I was going through the comments to read some I wasn’t been able to read previously. Yours was next in line. Courageous came to mind as I read through your share. There are events in life which we just bury and they don’t see the light of even our own assessment.
They are the rocks that are too heavy to lift from the running waters of our days. We may even be thankful that their weight is too heavy and thus we can avoid their impact on our spirit.
Thank you for demonstrating such bravery and honesty. I admire you greatly and I wanted to take this opportunity to say that to you. Your words made me realize that my heavy rock stays at the bottom of a deep whirlpool. I have opened the lock only once to one person in my lifetime, not even here where I feel inspired in the safe place Graham has created for us all.
Today as I read your comments, it is you who inspire me. Thank you.
Oh my Sherry…thank you for your kind words and thank you for this testimony about the heavy rock you have been carrying inside you for such a long time. It’s ok. I certainly understand and can relate and I respect your desire to keep it private. Graham has created a great community through his inspirational work and he has offered us in so many ways opportunities for us to feel it is ok to love ourselves for who we are and to love life in more ways. He is an amazing young man impacting us in such meaningful ways. Thank you again for sharing your comments and feelings… you have a blessed weekend.🙏
Danny, I am so glad you shared this and felt comfortable enough to do so! It was stated perfectly and definitely NOT boring. Graham definitely has a way of inspiring each one of us to really look inside of ourselves. I totally agree his writings, podcasts, and this community have had a profound affect on my life. I think many others agree! Wishing you the best!
Danny, I so relate to your professional experience. My career was spent with some of the most accomplished and often high profile people in the legal field. Most were over achieving Type A personalities. When I was in discussions with them, be it casually or in a formal presentation, I felt I was being deposed! My confidence was often shaken in my interactions but I understood their aggressive positions are a result of their training as lawyers. There are trained to advocate for their positions. Strongly advocate! Their questions and comments weren’t personal and I learned to really look at the person behind the comments. They are a person as am I. We are equals and though they may appear to have power over me I did not give them such power. I respected them as human beings and expected the same from them. The biggest opportunity for me was to really use my voice and advocate for my position. Though I may not have always been pleased with the outcome of the situation I was confident that I had spoken up for my position. Indeed it often was exhausting but it was always a learning experience to have such interactions. My voice, my confidence, grew over time. As a young person I had great difficulty in learning to use my voice and I have come to feel my career choice provided that opportunity in very meaningful ways. Thank you for you sharing your story and congratulations on your career accomplishments!
Thanks Joan for sharing your career experience. It appears to that you had the right attitude and demeanor to effectively deal with such high profile type A individuals. Congrats to you.
Danny, Thank you for your kind words. It was often a very difficult journey and the journey continues. In fact, I chose to retire early. I simply wanted a less high pressure situation and felt as though life in the legal field did not afford me opportunities to pursue creative pursuits. The days were endlessly long. I am happily retired now and am able to explore my creativity in new ways and serve my community through volunteer work. All the best to you!
My response to Graham's poem today is actually a compilation from this poem, the Tough Love Poem, and the Remember Me Poem. I have had a bit of a revelation these past few days (probably prompted by these poems in conjunction with real life events). Since May 1, 2021, my husband and I have lost both of our mothers (a day apart) and my step-mother to cancer. My brother-in-law, Mitch, is now in the final days of his life after losing a year long battle with this terrible disease. His dying is the hardest of all because he has so much life ahead of him. He is leaving behind a loving wife, two sons, and two young grandsons who may not eventually remember him. What I have learned by experiencing all of this dying, is that it's not so much what we do with our lives, but who we touch and impact. His wife has been by his side during this entire ordeal trying to balance his needs with those of her aging parents that she is also taking care of. She has been with him 24/7 these last days. I watched his son carefully help his dad sit up and gently help him get a drink of water or swab his lips with a moisture stick (something I'm sure he never dreamed he would ever do). I've seen my husband sit beside his dying brother holding his hand and reminiscing about all their adventures as young boys and playing some of Mitch's favorite songs on his phone. Meanwhile, all of our phones are blowing up with calls and texts from friends asking what they can do to support us through this and letting us know they are praying for all of this. To me, all this is evidence of a life well lived. Mitch was never really preoccupied with making money or acquiring things, but he touched the lives of so many people just by being Mitch and loving them. To me, relating and connecting with people and putting them and their needs ahead of ourselves is much more important than making money or accumulating stuff. Relationships are what impact eternity. Mitch is leaving quite the legacy. His legacy is the two beautiful sons he's leaving behind and their sweet families. Mitch will live on in the personalities of his precious grandsons and in the memories of all his family and friends. All of this has reminded me that the only thing that matters when you are on your deathbed is the people that you love and that love you. People you have impacted.
All that to say, Graham, you are impacting so many people by using a platform that God has given you. You are using things that you have learned and experienced to reach and help people. You are doing what matters most in this life which is connecting to and impacting people. Thanks so much for this.
Jody. You touched my heart with what you wrote and what you said. We take nothing when we leave this body and we leave only the essence of who we are as loving, kind, appreciative and truthful people. The material items we may accumulate are truly meaningless except perhaps as reminders to those we loved and who loved us, of memories past. Bless you! 🙏🏻💜
Jody so sorry for what you have endured. I have already posted all over how I feel about our legacy which to me is truly life after death. As the cliche goes Life is for the living- however, what it doesn't say is that what we leave behind with our loved ones, the ones that we have touched will always be more fulfilling than any material wealth or stuff we have accumulated. Just ask your children who will have to clean out the house and garage when we all die!
I know what you mean about what we leave behind. When my mom passed, as I mentioned in my post, I had to clean all her stuff out and it dawned on me then that we sure accumulate so much stuff that we can't take with us. I have begun to purge my stuff so that my kids don't have as much to clean out when I pass on! I have even begun to question myself when I go to make a purchase as to whether or not I really NEED that object.
Jody, beautifully stated. I agree 100%. For me, it's not for myself, but to love and to encourage others, but in doing so taking care and loving myself which unfortunately, I neglected. God is definitely working through Graham and his God given talents in creating this community to encourage and lift one another up. It has greatly impacted me. Praise God!
When my dad passed, the my uncle, my aunt & last year my mum, I realised I need to live my life & do things that make me happy. I don't need others to approve of what I am doing or how I spend my money. If it makes me happy to go travelling & experience life, then they should be happy for me.
I can relate to your loss and no matter how many times we go through it, it never gets any easier. We never get better at grieving because it's different every time. It's a good reminder that each day is precious and that spending time with people we love isn't something to put off. Thanks for sharing Mitch's story and how it has impacted you. You are so right - "relationships are what impact eternity".
Graham, what you have done for all of us is such a blessing. You write, we read, our hearts open and reply. We anxiously wait for each Tuesday to further listen to what truly blesses each one of us. Letting go of yesterday is so much easier and putting great hopes for tomorrows.
I am trying not to hide from ME the one that hides from everyone. The one that always feels not good enough, the one who would crumble under judgement, the one who wanted to be more. I have recently been able to come out of hiding with the help of Graham and this group. I speak my truth and be the best ME I can be. Those that appreciate who I am and what I offer to the world will stand with me. I was chasing validation, acceptance, and true self love. I am still working on those pieces of me that struggle but i don't define myself ---as much--by the actions of others. I am in control of my own feelings, actions/reactions, and who I choose to be in my inner circle. It is not easy and i will work on this the rest of my life, I am sure, but, I am the captain of this ship so to speak.
No, it is not easy and is a lifelong pursuit! It sounds like you have faced these things head on, and I congratulate you for that. I think facing the things we are hiding from is half the battle. It's uncomfortable, sometimes painful, but essential for happiness.
Yes sir. Lifelong journey indeed!
I couldn't have expressed her feelings as my own in such a way myself. Chasing my tail was in trying to be something I'm not but felt I should be. I wasn't the sharpest cookie in the basket and always had to push myself twice as hard as others to succeed . I went through life always comparing myself to others and wandering why I wasn't more motivated in my life choices like Mrs. Gambero? I had this feeling of being this tiny ant crawling in the thickened grass unkown and unworthy. Bottom line is I am a simple person who lives a simple life and feel content . I'm not a hermit because I do socialize but my preference is considered an introvert. I no longer feel a need to chase my tail to become something that I'm not. I don't need money, no fancy clothes, no expensive cars nor jewels to survive in this life. As is said, money doesn't buy happiness but must be utilized properly as in to give as to receive as Graham understands and appreciates this validation of and through himself. He shares such wisdom that he has acquired through his own research about the importance of life's pathway. Graham has used his creative talents and abilities to guide us to find our own sense of being and existence as it is here on Earth. We thank him for giving us that shared knowledge. Graham is our inspiration to be who we are or to become a better person rather than forever chasing our tail in wander of what one could've been. Are we honoring our selves in remaining stagnant or shall we stop chasing our tail to confront that person in our own being? I am who I am and who I want to be just a simple person living a simple life who believes in a higher being, peace among all humans, joy and happiness in the simplest of terms, and being able to express one's gratification for the life one has to share with others. Remember, we are not here to conquer but instead to stop chasing our tail and confront those hidden dreams we have for so long hidden. The elder;ly woman in this picture is smiling with beautiful eyes telling us that life is an adventure that she has willingly experienced which has given her joy and earned her great wisdom. She didn't need to chase her tail to know who she is nor what she desired in life. She is a simple woman who found her gratification in life where age is not of essence. Me.
Great comments. I agree that the photo is wonderful - so expressive!
So true... 🙏☀️
Bonnie, you're expressing exactly how I feel here. Thank You! I thought I had already made so much progress in captaining my own ship. I thought I understood. However, this week I experienced how difficult it is to actually apply it in my daily life. I've fallen into the trap again of chasing desires and expectations, the feeling of being inferior.... A lifelong work indeed... I will fall a thousand more times, but also get up more and more. We will not giving up 💕
We never give up, do we? I think that's the most important part...it's the definition of "hope" for me.
Rejection is one of those feelings that are hard to overcome. We don’t really overcome them we just try to avoid feeling it again.
Bonnie we are all enough to ourselves! If the exterior world and those around us do not feel we are enough, they are free to seek fulfillment elsewhere. It is not your job to direct them where to go! Be mindful that the only one to please is yourself. The rest of the world revolves around you and is skewed!
Exactly, my friend! Well put.
Bingo Jeffry!
Bonnie, we are all good enough. Working on not giving the power to others.
you are right and I am working on seeing that
I am like with you! and it is very difficult to change overnight, it's the work of a lifetime, that's for sure...
Bonnie, upon reading your comment, I felt like you were writing for me. I'm so happy that you are on the journey of self discovery & found your truth. I wish you all the best as you continue on this journey. 🙏
To love ourself is the secret to reach our best version and it's an every day job we must do with patience and perseverance.
Wonderfully said...you are hiding from ME...
thank you
Amen Bonnie!
thank you
Graham - like you, for part of my life I also sought the approval of others to validate my own insecurities. That left me with the feeling of unworthiness, not loving myself, etc. As these thoughts permeated into my very soul, it also led me to over eat and neglect my health. As I'm sitting here writing this with tears rolling down, admitting that I haven't taken very good care of myself physically is not at all easy for me, but I feel led to share this with this community. It's part of the healing process for me and also to stop hiding from it and get out of my comfort zone.
Things have gradually changed over the last several years for the better. Through a renewal of my faith in God, I said enough is enough to those toxic thoughts/lies that I placed on myself. I have a new profound appreciation for life, loving and encouraging others as well as loving and appreciating myself. Each of us have a lot to offer one another and this world. Why did it take so long for me to do this, who knows, but I can say since joining this community, my life has forever changed for the better. I've introduced exercise and choosing healthier and nutritional eating regiments into my daily routine, and the praise is that I'm gradually losing weight and feeling so much better. I have a ways to go on this journey, but I believe I will get there. It's a life style change, but I will take it one day at a time. My friends have noticed a change in me and I have to.
Graham, your poems, this community, along with my faith have helped me to grow in self love and appreciation for life. We're given this one life, and we need to make each moment count.
Thank you for letting me share this today. It's not easy to do, but I felt that tug on my heart a little bit ago, and I think for me it's part of the healing process.
Thanks again Graham, and blessings to you and this community. Cheers!
I can so relate, I also allowed myself to eat my feelings to the point I weighed over 330 ibs and my doctor said fix it or die. Now we just have to live with the consequences for those choices, but as long as I'm on this side of the dirt change can and will still happen.
Amen Bev. I'm fortunate that I'm in good health and on no prescribed medication for my age. There is a definite profound change in my life now that I'm truly grateful for. Change can happen if we choose to let it. If I didn't believe it then, I certainly believe it now. By the grace of God, it can and hopefully will happen. One day at a time. Thank you!
Anne it is such a cathartic opportunity to belong to this supportive community. We all have work we do daily to vanquish the demons of the past and shine our lights on the truth of today and the future. You are courageous and bold in seizing what Graham has created here for all of us together with your own wonderful energy. 💜🙏🏻
Thanks Sherry! I do appreciate it very much. This community is simply amazing and I'm so grateful to Graham for creating this platform for us to share and support one another.
Yes. Graham has the magic of showing us the way of learning to appreciate and value our own energy. I too will be forever grateful.
Agreed! :)
You are not alone on this journey. You are an intelligent, amazing person, as well as friend. I have faith that you will reach your goals. Thanks for all the inspiration and for sharing. Love to you!
Thanks Laura. Through this community, we discovered we live so close to one another and an amazing friendship was born. Love to you my friend!
Well done Anne! You should be proud of yourself! 💜
Thanks Irene. Humbled and truly grateful.
Thank you for trusting us and sharing!❤️
Well done Anne for having the courage & drive to do something. You sound like you have found a new lease on life & I'm glad that you are part of this community. That you have comfort in it like I have. There are so many inspiring people here that share their stories. Just like you. 🙏💖
Thanks ChristIne. Part of sharing this today is the healing process to truly loving myself and knowing that we’re all worthy. I need to stop hiding behind that hurt and encourage others and not neglect myself in the process. I love being a part of this community and I’m glad you are too! Blessings to you also! 🙏🏻❤️
Anne - I'm right there with you - the eating and health is also a factor for me not feeling worthy - but I know deep down I do love myself - just affair to show it sometimes in fear I might upset someone. I know I need to worry about ME - trust in G-d & and take one day at time - blessing to you my friend and congratulations on winning the dance contest and enjoy that zoom. Cheers 🍻
Thanks Jody. For me, I don't worry to much any more about upsetting someone. I guess part of that could be as we age, we grow a little wiser I think. But also, I have to be true to myself and if someone else doesn't like me, then that's their choice and I have to go on. That song in the 1st group chat really got me going I guess. I downloaded it and I've played it about every morning to get the blood pumping. Blessings and Cheers to you my friend!
Anne, I love seeing your heart under my posts. I appreciate your encouragement. Good luck focusing on your health!!! Life coaches often say it's the journey that counts, not the destination. ~ Jan xoxo
Totally agree Jan. So far, it's been an incredible journey. I really can't put it in words. When you open your heart, love yourself, and start to see your TRUE self, Wow, is all I can say right now. My focus is God first, but with that, encouraging and loving others. I'm so blessed beyond words. Thank you!
Beautifully said Ann i also felt useless didn’t stand up for myself but since reading Graham’s wonderful readings and this lovely group who support everyone i have lost 3stone through eating healthy and walking ♥️💕💕💕🇬🇧🙏
Thanks Sue. With this morning's poem, I'm no longer hiding, but I needed to admit it somehow on a public forum where I felt comfortable enough as part of the healing process. I'm truly grateful for my age, etc., that I have no known health issues at this time, etc. The time is now. I want to use this time to encourage others as well.
Amen, Anne!
Thanks Tricia - Not easy to admit but needed to be done as part of the healing process.
Thank you Graham. Feeling humbled and truly grateful!
I totally forgot today was Tuesday, what a pleasant surprise after receiving a difficult phone call!
What am I no longer hiding from? What am I chasing that no longer serves me?
Well, I’m no longer hiding from my ex husband online. I stopped giving him that power and it took a weight off my shoulders.
What I’m chasing that no longer serves me is the desire to chose outcomes. How is this situation going to play out? What can I do to make this situation play out the way I want it to? And when the situation didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to, I would berate myself harshly! What did I do wrong? Why did I have to do whatever I did to mess it up?
When in all reality, it played out the way it was meant to play out. Things turned out the way they were meant to in God’s great plan and it had nothing to do with me or what I did whatsoever!
I’m learning to place it at God’s feet and leave it but the learning curve it broad.
Aimee, Self flagellation, whipping ourselves, the worse pain ever! You are sooooo good at supporting others, now it is time to put yourself first. Live as God sees you. There is the story where the person screams - “God, I have been begging and praying and you have abandoned me” and he answers, “I have been throwing you the rope, you have to pick it up.” He does show us the way, the light, the plan. You are a beautiful, worthy woman Aimee, who is evolving, in discovery. I know you stand on the edge of a painful precipice right now, you are not alone. I love you!
I love you too Connie ❤️
There is a great book by Gary Thomas called When to Walk Away. It can be used when it comes to marriages or family relationships or friendships. I highly recommend it. I have a very dysfunctional family and in the sense that even Lifetime probably couldn't show it. I felt like that being a Christian I HAD to have relationship with people in order to love them to Christ (even an ex) but no I didn't. You plant the seed, He waters it. Praying for you!!!
That sounds like a good read, and it could NOT be more timely. Checking it out. Thank you!
I meant to say the learning curve IS broad, but I like that typo better! That learning curve man, it broad! 😂😎
I have seen growth in you these past months, Aimee! Your openness in sharing your journey and growth is a joy to behold.
❤️❤️💚💚
Aimee, the learning curve is broad. I can totally relate. I give all praise to God and this amazing community of people who support one another.
❤️❤️💚💚
The issue of control and of responsibility loomed large for me as well. It’s difficult to let that go because we think we can be masters of insuring that those we love are protected , by us. But that is not reality. Sometimes I found that in striving to protect, I ended up being triangulated into a path in which I did not belong. I’m sure you felt that too Aimee. The realization is half the cure I think. 💜💜🙏🏻
When we put our problems in God's hands, He gives us peace in our hearts (Philippians 4:6)
Interesting! Lately that old saying "Let Go, Let God," has been reverberating in my head all day and even when I go to sleep. Great quote from one of my favorite books, Philippians.
Amen! ❤️❤️💚💚
HI Aimee! I forgot it was Tuesday as well. Thought I would let the topic "marinate" until today. lol
Aimee these months that I was able to follow you, I saw a person who went from being afraid of showing her image to one who started showing her true self.
Your journey is spectacular. you are doing an amazing job!
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You are doing a great job Aimee ,I'm very proud of you ❤️💚
Well done with not letting your ex control you & taking back your power. I know what you mean when it comes to outcomes. Wanting to have that control & always saying 'what if'. I suffer from this & try to let it go. It's difficult, but you have found a way to help you & I pray that you continue to have faith in yourself. 🙏
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Aimee, I’ve only gotten to know you a short time ago but I’ve seen you evolve into such a wonderful person. The person you are now has always been there. Thank you for letting me get to know you,
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You are spot on with your comments, Aimee. Anytime things haven't gone "my way" in my life, I usually realize later, that they played out the way they were intended to (according to God's plan like you said!)! Thanks for sharing this.
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They do beat Mondays that’s the truth.
I do too!
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Graham you once again have unearthed more subconscious dirt from our living grave!! Throughout life, we reach for unattainable goals that frustrate us, we settle for attainable, easier goals that do nothing for us spiritually. This poem is the process of maturing and realizing that we live for what is truly important to us spiritually, deeper in our hearts and learn to ignore those pitfalls of taking the easy way out! It’s a revelation when we reach and attain that journey toward true satisfaction in our spirit and in our souls. Isn’t life after death often the legacy we have left behind for those we have truly touched that are still reaching for their own satisfaction before they cross the threshold? Bravo Graham for another gem!
Subconcious dirt - great descriptor!
Like my information purgatory!!!
Beautiful Jeffry ... we seek now in our energy and light that which we may have never seen before. It is wondrous.
Totally agree!!!
Thank you Graham for another inspiring poem. So powerful and thought provoking! It really has made me think as I have fallen in the past to the trap where I was very insecure and was chasing validation,& acceptance , and all I wanted was to be successful. These things are no longer important to me and have I learned to self love, thanks the help and guidance from the love of my life! It wasn’t easy to change and get to where I am today but believe me when you achieve it it’s a wonderful feeling ❤️I’m so grateful ! 🙏❤️
I'm so happy for you Irene. You have a beautiful soul. 🙏💖
So do you Christine 🙏❤️
I agree Irene. It is a wondrous feeling. I am in awe that I did not see it before but I am forever grateful that I am now fully awake. It sounds as if you feel the same!
It took a bad experience for me to not always go somewhere especially if I wasn’t invited. I must admit I was looking for acceptance most of my youth. I was living in the bottom of a church with 7 other young people. A man was a big supporter asked us to go to his ranch and work. I drove there and placed my keys on the seat of the car. Someone had gotten into my car and managed to lose those keys. The man yelled at me all the way home. He told me how stupid I was and that I should not have come with the others because I had not been invited. I have never cried so much in my life. Even the others felt sorry for me. I don’t just go places now and I don’t befriend people who don’t deserve me. I look for beautiful people who have golden hearts. I don’t look for things to be improved. It’s wonderful to be liked but I’ve been disappointed so if someone doesn’t like me I leave it and them alone. I no longer try to meet other’s expectations of me. People who make me feel inferior I don’t cry when I lose them. My search for meaning now is learning new things because my yesterdays were busy trying to please people instead of making myself happy. These poems make me exceedingly happy. They are coming from a true friend’s heart.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”. Until we learn that, we are trapped in a cocoon . Once we believe it, we become free and fly like the butterfly we’ve become.
This maybe true but when you’re in your early 20’s you haven’t developed your self defenses yet and getting hurt is a high possibility. When we speak to young people we need to think before we speak.
So true!! We see the world much differently than a young person in their 20's or even 30's. I was so naive and took things so much more personally back then. There is something to be said for getting older!!!
I didn’t learn to speak up for myself until I was 32 yrs old. Experience and age speak volumes. We must be gentle and wise with our words and actions and it starts from birth.
You have overcome those voices that told you you weren't wanted or enough and have set a shelter around yourself that allows you to have confidence in how God sees you. You are a friend to many and share wisdom generously. I appreciate you! 💕
You are one of those people with a golden heart !
Thank you
Well done on no catering to others & finding people who love you for you.
Graham, you like getting us to dig around those deep places inside ourselves, don’t you? This was an interesting exploration for me. I think for a long time I was hiding from my own insecurities that I couched in perfectionism. Was I smart enough, appealing enough, good enough? All those questions hid under my own over-achieving. There’s a fine line between living up to your potential and trying to prove your value. I strove at trying to be the best student, best friend, best wife, best mom, best worker and not accept my own failings and humanity. I didn’t want to try things I wasn’t already good at for fear of failure. It was actually an amazing group of friends who taught me to not be afraid to be myself and that I was worthy of love and acceptance just for who I am and not anything I did or accomplished. They are still my closest “tribe”. There’s so much freedom in learning to love yourself with your weaknesses as well as your strengths and to set aside the façade that you tend to hide behind. I’m a work in progress. I still like to be good at things, but now I’m able to be comfortable with not being the best and even helping others to be their best and not seeing that as my failure. It’s never too late to evolve and expand!
Cathey, I can so relate to what you're saying. I especially like the line, "There's a fine line between living up to your potential and trying to prove your value". For so long I was constantly striving to prove I was a good person, smart enough, talented enough ,witty enough....and on and on and on. That mindset not only made me feel competitive with others, but with myself as well. I must keep improving myself, I thought. Finally the light bulb lit up and I realized I must learn to relax and be me, the one created in God's image, the one God says is wonderfully made, the one Christ died for. Knowing God loved me warts and all, made all the difference in the world. My motivation became pleasing Him rather than others. In the end I ended up loving God more, others more, and even myself more. Amazing love indeed!
I love this response, Mary! You have described the "old" me to a t! I just read a great book, "The Cure" and it helped me sort the difference between trying to please God and just trusting God. For me, even my trying to please God became another something I felt the need to be perfect at. Now I understand that trusting God IS pleasing Him. Learning to see ourselves as God does and loving ourselves as He does is where we need to be, right? It's wonderful to know others share our journey. 💕
Don’t forget, living up to your own expectations. That’s one I struggle with.
For sure, Aimee! I'm my own worst critic.
I love your response Cathey. I need friends like you who don’t make me feel inferior and encourage me. By you being yourself I’ve learned that you were someone I would have liked when I went to Bible study. Strong but beautifully humble.
Wow. Thank you, Lucinda. I am blessed to know you and a little overwhelmed by your characterization. 💕
You make this comment easy.
Very eloquently put Cathey! I liked especially I am comfortable with not being the best but helping others to be their best and not seeing it as a failure on your part. Bullseye! After when someone else achieves or overachieves it is a win in our column as well!
So true, Jeff! Those wins are far better than the ones of achieving myself; so much more rewarding and fulfilling.
Spoken by a true teacher! I learned a long time ago you teach yourself you help one, you teach others and they go out and teach others you ultimately teach thousands
Ripples......that's what it's all about. And also what Graham is so good at.
Thank you for that share Cathey. Perfection is elusive. I’m not at all sure it even exists. I think we try to be the “best” because we believe we are not. At least that was true for me and sometimes still is. Also work in progress!
I agree that overachieving is often a cover for our own insecurities. I've let go of a lot of my perfectionistic tendencies, but I spent a lot of years building them, so they don't fall easily.
You are an amazing person & friend. You have come a long way & have found your path. You inspire me. 🙏💖
Thank you, Christine! I so appreciate your friendship and support. 💕
Thank you for this poem Graham. All my adult life I have tried to connect with Father God and found that I struggled with that. I know this was due to the fact that I basically never had a father as my dad suffered from PTSD from WW2 and spent months on end in hospital only home for short periods between and just before I turned 11 he was hit by a car and killed. But the other day I had the revelation of the fact that I had never learnt how to relate to a father and so that was hindering me from connecting with God in a very huge way, I am now trying to process this with God's help and although I am almost 75 I know that if I keep working on this I will be free to relate not only to God in a more positive way but to others as well.
Sometimes it takes a lifetime to unearth what is holding us back. I'm glad God is giving you understanding and grace to be able to draw nearer to Him. ❤
This happens more than you know. I didn't have a PTSD father, although he was a marine. I just had a emotionally dead father and I was raised by him. So trying to understand that intimate loving father when some friend from school would invite me to church (I wasn't raised in church) was so completely alien to me. It took me having to become completely broken and I mean broken to fully grasp His undying love for me. Hugs to you!
Teresa, I'm sorry about your dad & how this impacted your life. To come to the realisation & act on what had hindered you must've been sad but helpful so that you could begin to heal. I pray for you as you continue on this journey my friend. 💖🙏
I understand exactly what you are saying. My father does not have PTSD. He just does not know how to be a father. I struggle with this as well.
I was at work this morning, when I saw Graham’s poem. I had sometime so I put my ear buds in and listened to Graham talk about the poem he wrote. I had to of listened to it at least 6 times. I struggled at first my co-worker could attest to that. I even got her to read the poem. Quite frankly I’ve been letting her read Graham’s poem’s. I think I just might have her hooked LOL.
Well I’ve been thinking a lot about Graham’s poem it’s taken all day and some tears shed. I think after really thinking on it I’ve come to the realization that I no longer hide myself.I speak up for myself which I’ve never really done because of how people would think of me. I can’t be afraid anymore and that was my biggest fear of all.
I would be the one who wouldn’t raise their hand to ask a question in school or would sit by herself and read because people thought differently of me. I’ve worked hard to be where I’m at today because I didn’t give up. I’m very proud of the person I’ve become because I fought so hard as Graham would say I put in the work and remained true to me and no one else.
I’ve also at times do find myself chasing my tail. Because I’m looking for acceptance from others. I should know that the acceptance from others shouldn’t mean anything as long as you love yourself with your whole heart. I’ve struggled with accepting this. I’m learning each day with Gods help and praying to love myself regardless of the out come.
Graham I know I’ve said this a few times. I don’t think I’ve ever encountered a soul like yours ever till now. God as truly blessed you and us with your wisdom and generosity. The people in this community that have been literally saved by what you write in your poem’s. You make all of us think and what to better ourselves by your gift. I wouldn’t be putting myself out there if it wasn’t for you. So thank you so very much for coming into our lives and sharing your wonderful gift. God bless.
Shari your story is so reminiscent of bygone experiences. I too would sit at school knowing an answer but being afraid to put up
My hand for fear others would bully me. I recall when younger my hand would shoot up all the time. That’s when the teasing began. That forced me to second guess myself. In one way or another that effects decisions made and character chiseled for years to come. I haven’t thought of that for a very long time. Thank you for helping me to touch that again!
I could not agree more with your comments about Graham. I have learned so much about myself through his efforts and generosity of spirit and love. It’s a priceless gift he gives which has and continues to nourish this community. We are blessed. 🙏🏻💜
Thank you Sherry, it’s hard to forget those things that happened when we were in school. I use to play sick so I didn’t have to go to school. I remember when I was on the bus going to school I had the courage to face one of the kids making fun of another girl. The next day I was on the bus I had something poured on my head that really smelled. I actually had to take a shower at school to wash my hair.. Then having to stay at school. The kids all made fun of me that was the worst day. I was always bullied. Though I hung in there because my parent taught me to be strong it was so hard. So I’m glad that there is someone else out there that understand how I feel. So thank you for your kind words it means a lot.
Oh how horrible. Those were the worst times. I had to act dumb because being able to respond meant you were singling yourself out. School was the worst until the later years of high school. Now I realize that they were envious. Still it does stay with you in one form or another.
It took me till now and the writing of Grahams poems to figure that out. It’s funny how someone you never meet can make you see that your worthy even when your loved ones tried to tell you. My mom has always been my rock. I just was to hurt inside to see that she was right.
Amen Shari!
Sorry Ann it’s been very busy. Thank you so much.
Happy Tuesday Graham, I look forward of your new poem release each week. Over 36 years ago I was in a corporate world working and one day I feel suffocated just thinking coming to work in this place? I needed changes to reach my goals and accomplish my dreams. I am very exhausted of impressing so many individuals to like me or be accepted to their group. I was burning inside that I needed to get out because if I continue down this path I will be losing myself .The one you’ve always lived, you can’t expect changes to come- the ones you’ve always needed. I decided to go back to school in medical field and take care our 8 year old very active little boy ,husband and my mother in law. I was in fast pace goal driven to society .It took me awhile to realize that I needed to change and not hide myself. God comes in with a quiet reassuring voice to remind me that I am worthy, He is not finished with me yet; those dreams have not returned to dust , and those fears of being accepted need to be abolished and filled with faith. Maybe God placed me in a new position set in a new direction in life. “ Be strong and courageous , do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you .” Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV . I no longer chases my dreams to be on top on society.I am very content of where I am today .Cheers🙏❤️
Lucy, so eloquently written. The sweet beauty is within you. Anyone can hear that in what you wrote. Thank you for the smile reading this brought to my face. Sending many hugs 🙏🏻💜
Thank you Sherry it means a lot, I am slowly moving forward with my struggles with this amazing support from this group is endless my healing is progressing well.
Beautifully written Lucy. 💖
Thank you ❤️🙏
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What am I no longer hiding from?
❤ love
What am I chasing that no longer serves me.
❤ love
I hid from what was there all the time, what was actually present within me.
I chased what I believed everyone else had, everyone but me! Now I don't need to chase anymore. Just relax and let the river carry me home.
Carole the love is inside YOU! It IS ENOUGH!! No more hide and seek! You are mature and fulfilled!
Carole- that was just beautiful. Let the River carry me honey... I love that. Thank you so much 🙏🏻💜
This is perfect imagery and exactly what I’m working on, letting the River carry me to where I need to be❤️
Me too Aimee
love that...let the river carry me home!
Wow Graham I’m laughing to myself I wasn’t even going to comment this week because it takes me forever to do so lol ... but once you explained your poem and said you where always looking for validation from other people I laughed because I thought well you just explained me! You are definitely my child from another life I’ve said this before! Validation causes a lot of disharmony in our lives I know from personal experience it’s a work in progress for me but I’m finally at the point where I don’t need it from anyone as long as it’s right in my mind and I’m not hurting anyone I don’t need anyones validation to make me feel good about myself anymore and to create harmony in my life all I need is me and what feels right to me I was always striving to fit in and their are many bullies out there that will cause you to feel that way but the the best way is not to fit in to stand on your own two feet and accepting who you are and not needing someone telling you if your right or wrong or basically validate your existence in this world ❤️
Halina- I agree with all you wrote - accepting ourselves IS all
the validation necessary, as long as we believe we are on our path and not injuring others. People pleasing is not a tribute to our own energy or our truth. It is a broad arch as Aimee said to reach that point. Society, the matrix, has done a masterful job in teaching us otherwise. Thank you for your words.
Well done Halina. 🙏
My whole life until recently has been about searching for affirmation - to feel worthy of love ❤ nothing I achieved ever filled that hole inside. Every qualification and every relationship, every job and every success - nothing gave me the feeling I was seeking. A feeling of wholeness. I understand now that I can only find what I seek when I am still and silent and in tune with my soul. When I am in that place - aligned with my higher self, then I am truly free. Every day I feel the pieces of my heart returning like pieces of a giant jigsaw. 💔 I am no longer broken. I am healing. It has been a long journey- but it is getting easier. I love who I am becoming through it all. Thank you for all your support here and for your inspiring poem.🙏
Graham thank you for this beautiful poem. I’m going to relate with teresa a little bit . As I said before I lost my dad at the age of 7 . I was so young that I didn’t really understand why I didn’t have a father figure in my life . As I was getting a little older I was always chasing the fact that I wanted my dad in my life. And has a couple more years went by I started to realize why he wasn’t in my life and that god took him home. He worked in the Buchans mines and he came of work on a Friday evening and he said to my mom I don’t feel well I’m haveing a lot of chest pains so we rush him to the hospital that night to Grand Falls and 2 days later he pass with a mass of heart attack. So I truly believe that god was waiting to bring him home in the moment when he was having those chest pains.he pass away at the age of 61. I would do anything to bring him back just to see him.I’m been chasing this for years and still am not a day go by that I don’t talk about him. Now it’s only now that I’m realizing that I have to let this go that I can’t be chasing this the rest of my life .my dad was my pride and joy of what I can remember. Now I know he’s in a better place and that’s he’s happy pain free. I honestly believe god knew he was ready to go home may you Rest In Peace daddy❤️ And my mother well she raised me until I moved out on my own she was a very sick woman after my dad passed she was diagnosed with early cant spell the word so I will say brain loss at the age of 32 very young to start loosing your memory then a few years after she was diagnosed with bowel cancer and she was epileptic so I was the one that has to take care of her I done my very best until I couldn’t handled her anymore I feel very ashamed today that I put her in a home until her final day when god called her home. At the age of 61 as well I’m still chasing from this day cause I wanted to give her the best from me but it was just very difficult to handle her.I reflect on this every day on a daily basic it keeps chasing me haunting me and I try to move away and say mom I done this for your good to make sure that you were kept safe . I know she hated me for doing it but I follow my heart telling me I’ve made the right choice. No body want to see there family drifting apart by when sickness enrolled you have to take a leap of faith step in and do your work. I love this group because you are expressing your life to everyone and it makes you feel more relieved to get it out and how people understand what your life is all about. Trust me I didn’t have a easy life I learned the hard way to maintain a life for my self. Thank you Graham for asking this deep question and yes I’m still chasing it but I don’t see no service .all the best Graham many blessings to you ❤️❤️❤️
Can no longer be chasing this in my life it’s not serving me anything by chasing it.I just have to let it go.my mom tried to finish raising me the best way she could until she took sick herself she was diagnosed with brain loss can’t spell the word at the of 32 then she was diagnosed with bowel cancer which she would not take any treatments she just live day by day and she was also eptletic seizure so. Had to do my very best try to take care of her plus trying to go to school . I spent more time at home then I did in school cause I was worried about my mom so had the years went on it was getting very difficult to take care of her . Yes I’m going to say I am very guilty and ashamed for removing her from her home and putting her in a long term facility. I follow my heart because if I didnt both of us would be in danger. So I knew that way she would be I. A safe place . Good call her home in 2004 at the age of 61 I’m still chasing this in my everyday life and I know that it’s not services me any but I will hold the guilt with me. She hated so much but I told her I don’t this for you sake not mine I wanted you to be just safe. And there was days that I feel very unworthy to my self that I’m not like I hated my life for a long time cause of what I did. So one c I thought maybe I’ll go down bring my mom up for get weekends and then bring her back. Guess that plan didn’t work out so well yes I brought her but she wouldn’t leave to go back she said I’m living with you I said no your not you going back where you live. It was a struggle a fight aruguments words being said but after so long she left. I feel very terrible in the choices in my life that I had to make god my mom it not easy it’s hard alot tears when you see her walking out the door baggage and all wow these is very emotional for me right now, I have to end this now thanks to everybody for reading everyone comment and big shout out to Graham wardle for get us to share what we feel in our everyday life. God bless you Graham ❤️❤️❤️💜💜💜
There comes a time , when caring for someone with debilitating health ,that we have to admit to ourselves we cannot give them the care they need and deserve. Given the condition of health you described ,she most likely could not make decisions about what was best for her. You made them for her from your heart.
You did the best for your mum & family. The guilt is terrible, I know, but she needed specialist help. Help from people qualified to assist her & take care of her. It's difficult, but was the right thing to do.
Thank you so much Lori for keeping me in courage I will always have that guilt hanging over me it very hard to let it go I try to work with him but it just makes me very emotional feels that I could do more but I was only a teenager I was 18 when I left on my own and I didn’t look back. Thank you for your kind words.
Roxanne all we can do in life is the best that we can! If you make the effort that is what counts. If it comes from a place of love that is what counts. If you give of yourself that is what counts! Too often we look back and beat ourselves up thinking we could have done more. We could have said more or said it differently. The past can not be changed; however, it is never too late for you to change. Remember you did the best you could do under the circumstances. You are not divine. You can't change fate.
Absolutely I can’t changed the past but the guilt and frustration is always bringing me down I try very hard to deal with it and I won’t push it away I will work through it. Thank you for all your in courageous words it just melts the heart to know someone understand and are going through it the same as me.
Roxanne we all can just do the very best we can. I was in this place similarly with my own mother. I understand completely. No one can with words take away the deepest feeling we have about these types of situations. I finally had to accept that which I could not fathom completely and integrate it into my life experience. Transform it. Therein lay the peace I was seeking. I wish the same for you. 🙏🏻💜
Love this Roxanne!
Thank you so much it was. Tough life growing up but I’ve learned the hard way and I’m glad that I done the best for my mom .
I'm sorry for all that you have gone through. It's extremely difficult to place a parent in a home, but when we can't provide the specialist care they need, it's the best thing for them & everyone concerned. Take care.
I felt the same way. I had an empty hole in my heart that nothing would fill. And then I learned about self love. I absolutely love who am I! This crazy, weird, goofball with lots of love to give. I’m glad you have reached that point as well, it’s a wonderful feeling ❤️
You have a great way of writing what i feel.
Carole, I am so happy that you have found your path. 🙏
beautifully said!
Graham...the theme of your poem and your explanation of it has presented a tremendous challenge for me and I pondered about whether I had the courage to comment. But I decided that I have to address your points about my security/worthiness in the past and what is it that I have been hiding for most of my life. First security/worthiness. In my past I was verbally abused by a close family member, mostly about my job successes...receiving comments such as "you're not that good in the job..." These encounters and comments played heavily on my mind throughout my career. I worked in executive level jobs many of which were in positions appointed by the Governor. I was very fortunate as I was appointed by Governors of both parties over a 15 year span. In these jobs I always felt insecure and unworthy in them and I found myself constantly stressing out when I had to appear before legislative committees representing the Governor on his tax proposals. My mind kept reminding me of the comments made by that family member. And during any presentation I had to withstand abusive questioning and comments by legislators from the "other" party...definitely making me feel insecure and unworthy. On one occasion I had to withstand questions for over 2 hours on a tax transformation project for which I crafted the legislation and which I had designed the legislative provisions whereby the $150 million project (the largest in the country at that time) was paid for through only increased revenues from increases in performances over a predetermined baseline. During my testimony one legislator drilled me and I was extremely stressed but answered his questions truthfully and with outward appearance of confidence...definitely not confident on the inside. After my testimony one well known lobbyist came forward and said that my testimony was "masterful." I certainly did not feel so. And then the legislator who was hammering me grabbed me in the hall and said "you were great...I hope you didn't take it personally." I share all this because I was never able to enjoy feeling secure in or worthy in the jobs I was in throughout my career.
Now what am I hiding. While I cannot share it because it is so personal, I can say it is something I have lived with in elementary school, in high school and somewhat in college and even today. Through believing in a higher power I have manage to continue to live a life full of happiness and love and peace with myself. I have learned to manage this particular issue. I know that I could never bring these periodic dark times in my life to a full open disclosure. But what I can do is to continue to manage my thoughts and continue to live a loving and productive life. You know Graham, for me to share this much information about myself with you and this community is a testament to the impactful way in which you have affected my life in such meaningful ways. I feel better for opening up so to speak about my insecurities and my hidden issue and I hope no one is bored with my comments. This poem has brought out these personal thoughts about myself...yes I'm trying hard to find my truth about me. Thanks you my friend...and bless you Graham in such enormous ways!
I’m honoured by your courage and openness Mr. Payne. Thank you for being a great example to everyone here. I appreciate your willingness to share what you wanted while honouring yourself with the details you wish to keep private. I’m grateful my short piece of writing and this community has been of value to you🙏🏼
Continued blessings
Graham…first thing please call me Danny … and thanks much for your response. I really believe in what you do to challenge me to better understand myself. Like you I love life but I have found a much stronger meaning of what that really means to me since being inspired by your work…🙏
Danny. I was going through the comments to read some I wasn’t been able to read previously. Yours was next in line. Courageous came to mind as I read through your share. There are events in life which we just bury and they don’t see the light of even our own assessment.
They are the rocks that are too heavy to lift from the running waters of our days. We may even be thankful that their weight is too heavy and thus we can avoid their impact on our spirit.
Thank you for demonstrating such bravery and honesty. I admire you greatly and I wanted to take this opportunity to say that to you. Your words made me realize that my heavy rock stays at the bottom of a deep whirlpool. I have opened the lock only once to one person in my lifetime, not even here where I feel inspired in the safe place Graham has created for us all.
Today as I read your comments, it is you who inspire me. Thank you.
Oh my Sherry…thank you for your kind words and thank you for this testimony about the heavy rock you have been carrying inside you for such a long time. It’s ok. I certainly understand and can relate and I respect your desire to keep it private. Graham has created a great community through his inspirational work and he has offered us in so many ways opportunities for us to feel it is ok to love ourselves for who we are and to love life in more ways. He is an amazing young man impacting us in such meaningful ways. Thank you again for sharing your comments and feelings… you have a blessed weekend.🙏
You as well Danny! 🙏🏻💜
Danny, I am so glad you shared this and felt comfortable enough to do so! It was stated perfectly and definitely NOT boring. Graham definitely has a way of inspiring each one of us to really look inside of ourselves. I totally agree his writings, podcasts, and this community have had a profound affect on my life. I think many others agree! Wishing you the best!
Anne… thank you very much…
Danny, I so relate to your professional experience. My career was spent with some of the most accomplished and often high profile people in the legal field. Most were over achieving Type A personalities. When I was in discussions with them, be it casually or in a formal presentation, I felt I was being deposed! My confidence was often shaken in my interactions but I understood their aggressive positions are a result of their training as lawyers. There are trained to advocate for their positions. Strongly advocate! Their questions and comments weren’t personal and I learned to really look at the person behind the comments. They are a person as am I. We are equals and though they may appear to have power over me I did not give them such power. I respected them as human beings and expected the same from them. The biggest opportunity for me was to really use my voice and advocate for my position. Though I may not have always been pleased with the outcome of the situation I was confident that I had spoken up for my position. Indeed it often was exhausting but it was always a learning experience to have such interactions. My voice, my confidence, grew over time. As a young person I had great difficulty in learning to use my voice and I have come to feel my career choice provided that opportunity in very meaningful ways. Thank you for you sharing your story and congratulations on your career accomplishments!
Thanks Joan for sharing your career experience. It appears to that you had the right attitude and demeanor to effectively deal with such high profile type A individuals. Congrats to you.
Danny, Thank you for your kind words. It was often a very difficult journey and the journey continues. In fact, I chose to retire early. I simply wanted a less high pressure situation and felt as though life in the legal field did not afford me opportunities to pursue creative pursuits. The days were endlessly long. I am happily retired now and am able to explore my creativity in new ways and serve my community through volunteer work. All the best to you!
Joan…now enjoy your retirement…Relax and be creative and serve…no schedule…
My response to Graham's poem today is actually a compilation from this poem, the Tough Love Poem, and the Remember Me Poem. I have had a bit of a revelation these past few days (probably prompted by these poems in conjunction with real life events). Since May 1, 2021, my husband and I have lost both of our mothers (a day apart) and my step-mother to cancer. My brother-in-law, Mitch, is now in the final days of his life after losing a year long battle with this terrible disease. His dying is the hardest of all because he has so much life ahead of him. He is leaving behind a loving wife, two sons, and two young grandsons who may not eventually remember him. What I have learned by experiencing all of this dying, is that it's not so much what we do with our lives, but who we touch and impact. His wife has been by his side during this entire ordeal trying to balance his needs with those of her aging parents that she is also taking care of. She has been with him 24/7 these last days. I watched his son carefully help his dad sit up and gently help him get a drink of water or swab his lips with a moisture stick (something I'm sure he never dreamed he would ever do). I've seen my husband sit beside his dying brother holding his hand and reminiscing about all their adventures as young boys and playing some of Mitch's favorite songs on his phone. Meanwhile, all of our phones are blowing up with calls and texts from friends asking what they can do to support us through this and letting us know they are praying for all of this. To me, all this is evidence of a life well lived. Mitch was never really preoccupied with making money or acquiring things, but he touched the lives of so many people just by being Mitch and loving them. To me, relating and connecting with people and putting them and their needs ahead of ourselves is much more important than making money or accumulating stuff. Relationships are what impact eternity. Mitch is leaving quite the legacy. His legacy is the two beautiful sons he's leaving behind and their sweet families. Mitch will live on in the personalities of his precious grandsons and in the memories of all his family and friends. All of this has reminded me that the only thing that matters when you are on your deathbed is the people that you love and that love you. People you have impacted.
All that to say, Graham, you are impacting so many people by using a platform that God has given you. You are using things that you have learned and experienced to reach and help people. You are doing what matters most in this life which is connecting to and impacting people. Thanks so much for this.
Jody. You touched my heart with what you wrote and what you said. We take nothing when we leave this body and we leave only the essence of who we are as loving, kind, appreciative and truthful people. The material items we may accumulate are truly meaningless except perhaps as reminders to those we loved and who loved us, of memories past. Bless you! 🙏🏻💜
Thank you Sherry. This realization has really hit home with me this past year. God bless you!
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Jody so sorry for what you have endured. I have already posted all over how I feel about our legacy which to me is truly life after death. As the cliche goes Life is for the living- however, what it doesn't say is that what we leave behind with our loved ones, the ones that we have touched will always be more fulfilling than any material wealth or stuff we have accumulated. Just ask your children who will have to clean out the house and garage when we all die!
I know what you mean about what we leave behind. When my mom passed, as I mentioned in my post, I had to clean all her stuff out and it dawned on me then that we sure accumulate so much stuff that we can't take with us. I have begun to purge my stuff so that my kids don't have as much to clean out when I pass on! I have even begun to question myself when I go to make a purchase as to whether or not I really NEED that object.
Jody, beautifully stated. I agree 100%. For me, it's not for myself, but to love and to encourage others, but in doing so taking care and loving myself which unfortunately, I neglected. God is definitely working through Graham and his God given talents in creating this community to encourage and lift one another up. It has greatly impacted me. Praise God!
When my dad passed, the my uncle, my aunt & last year my mum, I realised I need to live my life & do things that make me happy. I don't need others to approve of what I am doing or how I spend my money. If it makes me happy to go travelling & experience life, then they should be happy for me.
Jody, I know where you're coming from with loss. It really gets you thinking about your life. Some good, some not so good. A time of reflection.
I'm sorry you are going through this, but you seem to appreciate those around you & the love you all have. 🙏
I can relate to your loss and no matter how many times we go through it, it never gets any easier. We never get better at grieving because it's different every time. It's a good reminder that each day is precious and that spending time with people we love isn't something to put off. Thanks for sharing Mitch's story and how it has impacted you. You are so right - "relationships are what impact eternity".
Graham, what you have done for all of us is such a blessing. You write, we read, our hearts open and reply. We anxiously wait for each Tuesday to further listen to what truly blesses each one of us. Letting go of yesterday is so much easier and putting great hopes for tomorrows.
Well said Lucinda. Though letting go of yesterday isn't easy for me. I need to work on it a lot.