Oh blessed one
How far we stray and what confusion we cause
Only to remember where we started
The sacred realization that we are already home
Is it not our life’s work to be with what we hide from?
Our love for everything other than what is real
Keeps us running to catch our tail
Keeps us running to catch our tail
I am trying not to hide from ME the one that hides from everyone. The one that always feels not good enough, the one who would crumble under judgement, the one who wanted to be more. I have recently been able to come out of hiding with the help of Graham and this group. I speak my truth and be the best ME I can be. Those that appreciate who I am and what I offer to the world will stand with me. I was chasing validation, acceptance, and true self love. I am still working on those pieces of me that struggle but i don't define myself ---as much--by the actions of others. I am in control of my own feelings, actions/reactions, and who I choose to be in my inner circle. It is not easy and i will work on this the rest of my life, I am sure, but, I am the captain of this ship so to speak.
Graham - like you, for part of my life I also sought the approval of others to validate my own insecurities. That left me with the feeling of unworthiness, not loving myself, etc. As these thoughts permeated into my very soul, it also led me to over eat and neglect my health. As I'm sitting here writing this with tears rolling down, admitting that I haven't taken very good care of myself physically is not at all easy for me, but I feel led to share this with this community. It's part of the healing process for me and also to stop hiding from it and get out of my comfort zone.
Things have gradually changed over the last several years for the better. Through a renewal of my faith in God, I said enough is enough to those toxic thoughts/lies that I placed on myself. I have a new profound appreciation for life, loving and encouraging others as well as loving and appreciating myself. Each of us have a lot to offer one another and this world. Why did it take so long for me to do this, who knows, but I can say since joining this community, my life has forever changed for the better. I've introduced exercise and choosing healthier and nutritional eating regiments into my daily routine, and the praise is that I'm gradually losing weight and feeling so much better. I have a ways to go on this journey, but I believe I will get there. It's a life style change, but I will take it one day at a time. My friends have noticed a change in me and I have to.
Graham, your poems, this community, along with my faith have helped me to grow in self love and appreciation for life. We're given this one life, and we need to make each moment count.
Thank you for letting me share this today. It's not easy to do, but I felt that tug on my heart a little bit ago, and I think for me it's part of the healing process.
Thanks again Graham, and blessings to you and this community. Cheers!