Week 2: Relationships
Welcome back,
Wow, it was so cool to read through all your poems and supportive messages in last week’s comment section. Great job everyone!
The key is to use these poems like prayers of gratitude for the specific areas of your life. Let your writing be inspired and focused on what you desire to experience and feel. Acknowledging where you’re at while directing yourself towards where you want to go.
My poem from the first week is now the wallpaper on my phone. This way whenever I need to use my phone, I’ll be reminded of my desired feelings and the direction I am focusing my energy. Wherever you choose to share your poems, I want to encourage you to feel the energy of them. Let them resonate with you deeper and deeper.
If you haven’t yet shared your poem and wish to do so, click this link below and add yours to the comment section of last week’s post!
Alright, let’s dive into Week 2 - Relationships!
This week I want you to focus on the most meaningful and fulfilling relationships that you want to cultivate. Even if you’ve had some difficulties or challenging relationships in the past, this is an opportunity for you to focus on creating higher quality relationships going forward.
First let’s take a moment and contemplate the relationship we have with ourselves.
It is in this relationship that we determine how we show up for every other one. If we cross our own boundaries then we allow others to cross them as well. If we speak negatively to ourselves then we can also entertain negative thoughts about others and their behaviours.
The opposite is also true.
If we allow ourselves the space to feel and process our emotions without judgement or impatience then we also are much more likely to extend that compassion to others. If we speak positively about ourselves when we are struggling or being challenged then we also tend to feel inspired to support others more through their journey.
So this week we are going to combine our vision of our relationship to ourselves with our relationships to others. My invitation is to first start with yourself and then connect it to others around you.
Walk & Talk
We all have different ways of cultivating a stronger relationship with ourselves. One of my favourite methods is taking myself for a walk and envisioning another version of myself walking beside me. Anything I’m struggling with or feeling uneasy about I externalize that issue onto this other version of me. I ask them to speak to me about how they are feeling. I listen and walk beside them like a friend. I’m not trying to solve their problems or dismiss them. I’m simply listening to them and sharing my compassion for their struggles. What works best for me is if I speak out loud to them and when they are speaking I am quiet and I feel their words.
Even if I don’t feel particularly upset about anything, a nice walk outside with a check-in helps to keep my relationship strong. Maybe there are dreams or aspirations that need to be heard or felt. Creating this space for myself to open up and express what is going on has become a great self directed relationship building exercise for me.
If you have difficulty with mobility at the moment or are unable to get outside for a walk, you can also do this exercise on paper. Simply write out a conversation between yourself and another version of yourself. I’ve done this many times when I wanted to work out my thoughts. The key here is to make sure you don’t try to quickly solve the issues, challenges or dilemmas. Use the conversation to ask questions and hold space for this part of you to express itself in the way it needs to be heard. Compassion and patience is the best approach. If an answer or insight emerges, great! If not, simply allow this other version of yourself to be heard and seen.
Journal Prompt: What do you feel?
Take yourself out for a walk. Imagine another version of you walking beside yourself. Speak to them as if they were actually there. Ask them out loud how they are feeling. Wait and listen for a response. Feel their words in your heart and mind. Take at least 15 minutes to speak with and listen to yourself.
I briefly shared this idea in my Winter Walk video on Substack Live. You can watch that by clicking here.
Paper Example:
If you cannot get outside to do this exercise, you can also do this on paper. Here is a quick example:
Graham: What’s going on?
G: Hey, good to hear from you again.
Graham: I wanted to check-in and see how you are doing?
G: I’m good. Tired. Looking forward to some rest and play soon.
Graham: Yeah?
G: I just want to play more without having to always think about work.
Graham: I hear you. I want to focus on that with you. Next time we are out having some fun and you catch me thinking or stressing about work can you give me a reminder?
G: Sure. What do you think would catch your attention?
Graham: The sun. I’ll use the sun as my reminder to stay present and let go of the future worries.
G: Oh, I love that!
If you’re going to do this exercise on paper then I would like to suggest you spend at least 15 minutes as well. Keep writing and keep asking questions. You’ll be surprised at what emerges when you give yourself the space to listen and feel.
Poem Exercise:
Now that you’ve taken the time to connect to yourself and be present with what is going on internally, you can now start building out the foundation of your poem.
Get comfortable and put on some of your favourite music. I personally like something like the song below to ground me and connect me deeper.
Start writing down the feelings and thoughts about where you want to show up for yourself more. How do you want to treat yourself? What does it feel like when you develop a stronger and healthier relationship with yourself?
Example:
I feel this thick and strong cord between us. A feeling of deep love and support. A friend that has my back and I have his. I love his authenticity and eagerness to celebrate life. I haven’t always been there for him but I now see how I can be a better friend. I know he wants me to be happy and I want the same for him. I listen to him and stand up for his dreams and aspirations. I honour his gifts and speak affirmations of encouragement to him regularly. I use the sun as a constant reminder of our bond and connection in the present moment. I love that he is so patient with me and forgiving. Shoulder to shoulder we stand for life and for love.
Fantastic. Now that you’ve taken the time to write this out, anchor this reality into yourself by feeling grateful for this strengthening of your relationship to yourself. Please take a moment to acknowledge this.
Almost ready to write!
Before we begin our writing process, it’s important we envision our connection to others with this new found depth within ourselves.
Close your eyes and imagine your new strength and gratitude spilling over to those you care about. Friends, family and loved ones. See them interacting with you. Feel them around you now. Envision these people having healthy relationships with themselves as well.
Pen to Paper!
Get out your notepad and start writing your poem. Add in the visions, thoughts and ideas you’ve now experienced as you envisioned this new depth within yourself spilling over into your closest relationships.
Write it all out on paper. Don’t try and get it perfect the first time. Just write it out and allow it all to show you where it needs to go and what needs to be said.
This is for you! If you want to share it, great! If not, great! This poem is a marker on your own journey. Honour it and allow it to unfold as it needs to.
Be patient with yourself and enjoy the process.
Anchoring the Vision
Once you’re finished, place your poem somewhere meaningful, just as you did with last week’s poem. Take a moment to reflect and give thanks for this new found depth of relationship.
If you’re open to sharing your experience or your poem, I encourage you to post it in a comment. Your words might inspire someone else to take a leap of faith of their own.
I’ll see you all next week as we explore passion, work and creative gifts.
Continued Blessings,
Graham
While I truly appreciate the “Relationship‘s”topic for Week-2 , I decided not to share the poem that I wrote and will keep to myself as it is very personal.
Also while reading the helpful prompts for this weeks challenge, I discovered that I also love to Walk & Talk and yes I’m also guilty of talking negatively to myself. I did this only last week and I want to be honest and share with you guys why. After writing my poem for Week -1 and posting it, I started doubting myself because I noticed that Graham liked just about all the comments and poems before and after mine and ignored mine. Straight away I started the negative talk to myself and a wave of self-doubt washed over me as I thought my poem was terrible. I found myself on the brink of deleting my work, convinced that the absence of a 'like' from the author meant my poem was inadequate. However, I chose not to delete it, and I’m so glad I didn’t. The beautiful comments and encouragement from fellow participants truly warmed my heart. Their support reminded me that writing is not just about gaining approval but about connection and shared experience.
It was a sobering reminder of how easily we can let external validation dictate our self-worth.
In that moment, I realized how crucial it is to believe in ourselves, to trust our creative instincts, and to remember that our value doesn't hinge on the approval of others. We must nurture our own confidence and not seek affirmation and validation from the world around us. Every piece we create is a reflection of our unique voice and experiences, and it's essential to honor that regardless of the feedback we receive. I know that at the moment I’m not the best writer as my thoughts are scattered across , I have been writing down way too many notes in my journal and my poems sometimes don’t make sense but I’m willing to work hard and hopefully by the end of this week 4 challenge , I will improve my writing skills , I’m very grateful that Graham is doing this challenge, it will help us all greatly with our writing ✍️
I thought I would share this in case anyone else feels the same way and I just wanted to add how proud I am of everyone. You are all smashing this challenge, I enjoy reading all the poems. I love this little community we have created here on Substack.🙏💜🌟
My Walk & Talk With Me, Myself & I
My walk and talk between me and myself
Spurred several subjects resting on the shelf
My chatty noisy inner voice
Asked about my significant life choices
Were they made out of fear
Or a need to persevere
She asked me why so much doubt
The confident mature me wasn’t ready to sprout
Why do you feel such lack of worth
It’s a generational thing in my world and earth
Ah, now I understand your need to control
It’s the quiet calm that’s required for my soul.
You really ought to stop feeling diminished
And know that you’re unconditionally cherished.
Little Dia, you will be fine
Just keeping searching and you will see the sign.