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Cathey Cone's avatar

This one definitely hit me right in the heart. For so long I thought I was doing what I was good at and it felt fulfilling in some ways at the time. "More and more lies, less and less life." But when I didn't do that anymore, I was forced to figure out what I was truly gifted to do and explore how to live that out and share it with the world. I had given up writing for a lot of years thinking it was something that perhaps I wasn't meant to do in a meaningful way. And even now sometimes I doubt myself and question why people would even want to read what I write. That phantom still wants to rear its ugly head from time to time. But God consistently reminds me that what I share has value in my own life and for others. More opportunities to share my gifts that I kept hidden for so long keep rising to the surface. And even though I sometimes feel unworthy, I want to remain open to possibility. It's not what I'm doing, but what God is doing in and through me. I don't want to squelch that in any way. Thanks, G, for another great piece of inspiration and for continuing to share your gifts with the world.

JLCRACKDOC's avatar

This also hit me hit a similar way… we learn to suppress and feel comfort doing it rather than face our fears and our doubts… as we get older the discomfort wanes and desires to fulfill the remaining years of your life in anyway you can. Be strong, be true to yourself and others who are inspired will follow

Cathey Cone's avatar

Thanks for your encouragement - it's a blessing to me. ❤

Christine Davies's avatar

As you know, Cathey, I can relate. Your blog is amazing. Your writing so relatable, informative & entertaining. Keep up with your amazing work that gives you so much fulfilment. And..... Believe. 💖🙏

Cathey Cone's avatar

You are a great encouragement to me, Christine! Thank you for being my personal cheerleader. Means the world!

Christine Davies's avatar

You are my cheerleader also. I am so touched by your words. 🙏💖💖💖💖

Carolyn Vann's avatar

That is how I feel!!!

Teresa Montgomery's avatar

Wow G you really know how to touch people where they need it. I have literally been in tears since reading/hearing this poem. I have all my life been shut off from what would make me fulfilled to the extent that I really don't know that truth. I can recognise one place where I was excited about something until God told me it was my calling and because of my insecurities I rejected it and stopped being excited, because I looked at what I couldn't do instead of what God could do in and through me. After hearing this poem I suddenly realise that not only have I missed out but so have so many others because of my fears. Thankfully God is a forgiving God and I know He has forgiven me but I have you to thank because your poem has been the way for this to be revealed to me. Keep on doing what you are as you are a true inspiration.

Becky fried's avatar

Oh i felt exactly the same ♥️

Susie Stapleton's avatar

Agree with totally. Without GOD we would be nothing. Thank you for sharing.

Philip J Germani's avatar

I had a similar reaction. This hits me right where I am now. I feel strangely empowered and am not quite sure how to express it.

Irene Kigais's avatar

I will have to agree with you Teresa . I feel the same ❤️

Lucy Bernas's avatar

I feel the same Teresa❤️

Christine Davies's avatar

I feel for you Teresa. Please don't be hard on yourself. You are an amazing, beautiful, thoughtful woman. You have accepted me & given me a friendship I am thankful for. 🙏💖

Anne Wooten's avatar

Right there with you Teresa!

Irene Kigais's avatar

Love this poem Graham .

It is a beautifully written poem very inspirational writing from you once again.

I believe everyone has a gift to give others .

I live my life with love, kindness and respect to others and expect for that in return and I’m blessed to have people in my life that do give me this in return. Also some of my fulfilling gifts I should add that have helped me through my personal life and especially at my work at good and hard times is Adaptability ,Honesty,Teamwork,Perseverance !

I try not to give up no matter what!!

Thanks Graham love being part of this inspiring group of people,love your work 🙏❤️

Susie Stapleton's avatar

Love this Irene . Kindness and respect is the key.

Philip J Germani's avatar

I agree. It seems kindness and respect, like common sense, are not common anymore.

Lucy Bernas's avatar

Yea Irene perseverance Graham is very inspiring.

Aimee Moore's avatar

Well said Irene! ❤️

Margareth Fjellvard's avatar

Thank you, Graham for this text. It really touched me. The last couple of months, I have faced death (my 33 years old friend who died of an overdose), a car accident and an illness out of the blue. Perhaps I have hidden my self behind these experiences, did not want to face it. Perhaps I would cry when my friends ask me: are you good. Now I have allowed my self to answer: No, I am not good, but I will be. I have allowed myself to meet my thoughts . You can say, I have opened my door, in to my hearth and my mind, not pushing forward, but go right trough. It does not matter if my friends can see my tears, nothing to hide. This have made me good, go right trough.

Thank you so much again.

Blessings!

Margareth (Norway)

Christine Davies's avatar

Sorry to hear what you have been through, Margaret. Make sure you look after yourself & take the time you need. My thoughts & prayers go out to you. 🙏💖

Margareth Fjellvard's avatar

Thank you so much. Blessings💕🙏

Halina Frederick's avatar

Wow this is a good one I don’t even know where to start I felt like you where talking to me and me alone saying Halina what are doing you are wasting precious time …I think I’m going to cry as I write this because I’ve lived most of my life denying myself of my passions or so called bliss because from a young age I was told you can’t do that because you can’t make money at it or there will be always somebody better than you always worried about others opinions or judgements not to be truly me …I got married had children went to work at a job I hated for 30 yrs it made me miserable and denying myself in the process I forgot me ! Don’t get me wrong I loved my family but I sacrificed myself my desire and passion lay in the arts and as you probably know people will always Criticize you in that field ! Wanted to go to school for design and my dad who was old school polish and you might not know polish people are very hard working and will do anything and everything to make money and support there families they don’t believe in following there bliss lol so this was instilled in me from a young age the work ethic work work work at anything and everything …you know that book you wanted to write or that old Victorian you wanted to decorate forget it until recently since Covid hit I hate to say I’ve been rediscovering my passions taking time for me I quite that awful job ..yes I’m sacrificing the money but I’m finding happiness and bliss in things I’ve put on the back burner for so long I love all things art not just decor and writing I love painting music film and I found out I’m a pretty good floral designer.. I never heard of substack until you got me on here this is what I mean about how god brings people into your life always for a reason and not just this but for many reasons you where brought into mine but with all this said I’ve been thinking of writing my own blog not poetry but more about the arts etc and whatever that entails thank you again for the inspiration oh and that group video/ zoom you mentioned everyone will want to talk to you all at the same time because we love you … you have helped so many blessings Graham 🙏❤️🌹

Carolyn Vann's avatar

I had the same experience Halina. I never felt good enough!!! I held back and was afraid to speak about my feelings.

Christine Davies's avatar

I can relate Halina. So glad you found what you're passionate about. Take care. 🙏🤗

Lucinda Jolly's avatar

Believe it or not at nearly 68 I’m just finding time to look back at where I’ve come from and where I’m going. The past 36 years I’ve been trying to get others approval. While looking for that I found where my heart should have followed all along. God placed me where my giving finally means something to me and where I can give without needing approval. My artistic side was looking for acceptance but it wasn’t needed. Letting people in has taken me a while and knowing where I should put up boundaries. Everyday is a new day. God clothes the lililies and makes their days new every morning. It’s time I let Him do that for me. Thank you Graham for being a part of my journey.

Mary Teasdale's avatar

Everything you just said here resounded with me as well. Because I have a love for ppl I always wanted approval from them. I was a total people pleaser! I finally opened up and allowed God to come into my life and I found the love of God, not only for me, but for others too. I no longer felt unworthy. I felt whole and valued because God loved me. What else mattered?! And because I am finally at peace with God and myself, I feel a greater love for others because I'm no longer motivated by getting approval but can just appreciate each person for who they are, not what I need from them. Of course I'm not perfect and I regularily fail at loving myself & others like I should, but I recognize my heart isn't in the right place much faster than before & get back on the right track. The result is peace, confidence and a desire to move forward using the gifts He has given me for His glory and for the good of others.

Brenda Lup's avatar

Hi Lucinda. I too will be 68 in a few months. I've been reflecting on what I've done so far in my life and how many more years I have left to do for me. Everything you said is exactly how Im feeling. Thank you for encouraging me to reply.

Christine Davies's avatar

Good on you Lucinda🙏💖

LaDenna Cole's avatar

Thank you Lucinda for your lovely words and willingness to share with others.

Laura's avatar

Lovely words. Thank you for sharing.

Tricia Thornton's avatar

Yes thank you for your words.

Anne Wooten's avatar

Thank you for sharing.

Barbara Forbes Smiechowski's avatar

Graham, we all have been rewarded by your return to your treasure. But I have to think that without your journey fueled by your fear we wouldn't be here...discovering ways to open ourselves up and following our hearts with your encouragement and inspiration. So that path you took when you were just a very young man has brought us to you now. We were introduced to you as one persona yet there was a force that pulled us to continue this journey with you. It is always darkest before the dawn, they say, and you emerged as a light for us to continue with you on your new path. For that I will be forever thankful and blessed.

And yes! A video call would be amazing!

Cindy LaMantia's avatar

Your response is one that I absolutely believe and is beautifully written. Thank-you for sharing thoughts many of us feel!

Lisa Lodi's avatar

Perfectly said Barbara!

Aimee Moore's avatar

Yes, I love this so much!!

Valdelice Marinho's avatar

Graham, what a beautiful inspirational writing, it made me cry! Thank you for this reflection of life! You have no idea how much your words touch people's hearts! Thank you for giving us this gift that I'm sure comes from the bottom of your soul!

God bless you! 🙏🏼🤍

Bie Matthyssen's avatar

Ghosts from the past

A bird with clipped wings

from a family of six, a Catholic bell jar

Mother keeping up appearances

Father excels in absence

Together with big brother and 4 little sisters

I learned to put away my treasures, piece by piece

But now I discover them again

Listening, playing, dreaming, loving

Deep within me powers awaken

Healing

And like a phoenix I will rise from the ashes

Thank you Graham for your beautiful poem

You are a gift to us

Sherry Kerdman's avatar

Love this Bie. Thank you for sharing your story.

Donna Armstrong's avatar

I love this poem. In all of my 70 years, I don't think anyone ever told me that I was "unworthy". I married my high school sweetheart. We were 18 and 19 years old. I moved from my dad's house to my husband's house. A majority of the time back then, you played by the man's rules. Not to say that I was unhappy. We were married for 46 years. So I'd say I was very happy. I felt fulfilled being a wife and mom to 3. Then he got sick. A horrid disease called Lou Gehrig's or ALS. Then I became a nurse as well. Full time caregiver for 6 years. And then it was over and he was gone. But the "Time Has Come" for me to remember what it is that "juices" me as Graham always says. I have buried ideas and hopes that I think will spur me on. Thanks Graham for bringing all of this to the surface.

Aimee Moore's avatar

Once I was free, I needed approval. I looked for it everywhere in the littlest things, and was constantly crestfallen when I didn’t find it or wasn’t given it. And that fueled the whispers inside. I was told so often for so long that I was dumb, that the things I liked were pointless, that seriously nobody cares. Touch elicited a “get the F off of me”, but that’s another story for another day. Exactly like you said though, I heard these things for around 7 years on a daily basis and I didn’t feel good enough once it stopped.

When I say that I decided to make myself into someone I thought was good enough, I mean I dug deep down peeling back the onion layers and found the girl I used to be. I knew she was good enough back before Chris. She was scared and broken but still in there. I found the girl who hugged everyone and poured unconditional love on all those she encountered, the girl who was always upbeat, always there with the most patient ear to listen and just the right words to make the world seem bearable after all. This girl was going to be a youth minister and spread Gods love as far and wide as possible. She had this unshakeable faith that no matter what things would be okay, that everything would work out in the end. This girl was all love, and joy, and peace.

I found her, and I cleaned her up. And I made us one. She was enough…I am strong and full of knowledge through my experiences and she can use that knowledge to grow her gifts. We are one and I am enough.

I don’t need anyone’s approval. I love who I am and who I have become. But I do have to add those little bits of approval that come along once in a while still feel really good. They are just icing on the cake.

Thank you Graham, your writing always speaks so deeply to me. Rock on! 🤘🏻

P.S. Love the video chat idea, totally down for whatever platform you choose.

LaDenna Cole's avatar

You are brave and courageous Aimee. Love the words you shared so openly! May you always be blessed and surrounded with love.

Christine Davies's avatar

I'm so glad you found your way through. So sorry you had to go through so much trauma. Take care. 🙏💖

Sherry Kerdman's avatar

Aimee- dad that you went through Such diminishing behavior. beautiful what you wrote and your courage in moving from that awful place. I experienced a marriage quite similar and stayed because of three children and out of fear. Then I said, no more and left. You can read my comment in that regard. Suffice it to say I can fully understand the strength it takes to leave emotional abuse. Thank you for sharing 🙏🏻

Aimee Moore's avatar

Thank you, and Thank YOU for sharing❤️💚

Aimee Moore's avatar

I hate to hear that anyone has had to endure what I did. I’m so glad you have found a loving lens to view yourself though and are moving forward. It’s hard to shed those lie. Keep moving forward ❤️

Anna Morris's avatar

Graham, what a beautiful and inspirational poem.

I have had a few ups and downs, but I think my worst low was when I was mentally abused at work a few years back by my Team Leader and Manager.

It took away any confidence I had. I was having panic,/anxiety attacks, put on medication and at one point scared to go out of the house.

After several months my husband took the bull by the horns and put me into a situation where I had no way to escape/think by taking me to an open air music festival.

This started me on my road to recovery. I gradually came of my medication by myself, started going out a lot more and learnt how to deal with my panic/anxiety attacks.

I still struggle with my confidence in certain circumstances but with the help of my family and friends I am getting there. By the way my Team Leader and Manager got the sack.

Barbara Forbes Smiechowski's avatar

The importance of having a caring and compassionate support system is a blessing. If you waiver turn to those who love you. By helping you they are receiving a gift back from you...your trust in them. Love wins each and every time.

Danny Payne's avatar

Graham…your poem and message were yet another deep dive into life by you and you have done it so eloquently and with a truthful tone in your voice…and Graham I can feel YOUR personal experiences throughout your message. For me, I have experienced many fears and feelings of unworthiness during my childhood, throughout my colleges years and later on in my career of 45 years. You offer such a meaningful perspective of finding a way to overcome such fears and feelings of unworthiness by searching within yourself and within your heart to find your gifts which will enable one to release those fears and feelings of unworthiness. You have offered such powerful message here and one that I wish I had heard many years ago. I would have benefited in so many ways. So at this stage of my life I will search deep into who I am and what my heart tells me about my purpose in life for my remaining days. Already since discovering you Graham my life has already taken on a different but more positive meaning and appreciation of life and even a much more appreciation of who I am and what things within me that I want to change. Graham you have a special gift…a gift for love of life…a gift to share and inspire us…and a gift that is genuine and truthful…you really believe what you write and what you say…we can feel it. So Graham continue your journey…continue to inspire us…and continue to be blessed as you have blessed your followers. 🙏

Cindy LaMantia's avatar

Beautifully written….I, too, would have benefited from Graham’s insight and shared gifts. Now, I am truly grateful to be blessed by his gifts with each sharing.

Tricia Thornton's avatar

Thank you for these beautiful and vulnerable words. And of course the ocean views and sounds! I can be silent and really feel that breeze. Aghhh…

The gifts that are longing for me to return to are feeling safe, loved fully, being seen and heard and feeling beautiful. The fears that I am actively working on letting go of (love the idea as you said phantom fears) are not being heard or seen and being quiet and still. If the fear has a foothold then I feel powerless and busy and out of balance. I am literally working on years worth of false beliefs that have been neurotically imprinted in my brain. We can change our brains!

The Phantom of the Opera is my favorite musical. It’s a beautiful story of letting go and seeing your beauty inside; therefore being able to fully love others. That is exactly what I want every child, parent, and individual to feel when they are in my counseling space. Then the key is to be able to integrate it outside of our session.

My foundation is built on nothing less for which this rock I stand! Isiah 41

Love the idea of a video. Probably zoom may be easiest?! Blessings to all! 🙏❤️

JLCRACKDOC's avatar

Chris Mann who was on the Voice just had a run in theaters around the Country doing the Phantom. He is spectacular. Google him and when you’re in a bad mood listen to some of his Corona parodies! What a voice he is one of my favorites to listen to!

Bonnie Gambero's avatar

I never saw the play but i saw the movie...it was as you say

Christine Davies's avatar

Boy, can I relate with this poem. This is hard for me, but growing up with an alcoholic mum, I was constantly told I wasn't good enough. I was told that it was my fault that mum drank. Making me afraid to express myself or be me. At school I had troubles learning & steered toward a career I didn't want. Even once I grew older, I would still put myself last & just do what I was told, no matter the cost to my sanity or health.

After being abused in other ways, I broke.

Upon seeking help, my eyes were opened to a whole new way of thinking.

I started to find the courage to live my life my way. I was finally able to use the gift I had with children. Have the freedom to do what I was passionate about.

I slip back sometimes, but I am grateful to use my gifts to do things I enjoy & bring joy to others. It's been a long time feel some sense of fulfilment in my life, but I'm finally getting there.

Aimee Moore's avatar

Thank you for sharing! I’m so happy that you have come so far! I think we all back slide sometimes, some days more than others. But as long as you are still moving forward, you have won the battle and are on your way to winning the war❤️

Christine Davies's avatar

Thank you Aimee for your encouragement & comments. 💖💖

Nalí Gonçalves's avatar

Hi GrahamWardle. What a beautiful text! Congratulations! I always think inside myself, people are present, each one has its diversified contents and different packages. . Whatever it is, we always have something good about ourselves that we can give to others. And you are this gift in our lives. You always have something good to give us, with your texts, ideas, once again, congratulations.God continue to bless you.🥰❤️🇧🇷