212 Comments
User's avatar
Zobeida Garcia's avatar

Thank you Graham for this written !!

From the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, in other words , what we say reflects the condition of our heart. With a healthy heart, emotionally speaking, we will speak words that lift and encourage the people around us. Let's take care of our hearts and above all take care of how we speak. "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and he who loves it will eat its fruits."

Blessings!!

Irene Kigais's avatar

Great poem again. I always try to treat everyone with politeness and kindness as this is the way I would like to be treated. I like to be the reason someone smiles and love making people feel loved. I always have a big smile for everyone especially at work, I once got one of the nicest compliment from an elderly patient, even though I was wearing my mask he told me that I had a beautiful smile. When I told him how do you know I’m smiling behind my mask, he told me that he knew that I had a big smile because my eyes were smiling as well. My mum also always said to me to watch my words as once you say something you can’t take it back and you can hurt someone with your words. I do need to work on been kinder to myself as I sometimes doubt myself and can feel very insecure, I’m trying though and have been better at this lately. Thanks Graham for this beautiful and powerful poem,you inspire me every time with your thoughtful words and poems. 🙏❤️

Cathey Cone's avatar

Masks have taught us to look more at people's eyes. You can usually always tell if someone is smiling.

Irene Kigais's avatar

I agree that’s why I always smile to everyone 😁

Peggy Heideman's avatar

I agree Cathey! Masks have taught us to look at people more not just a quick glance.

User's avatar
Comment deleted
Mar 23, 2022
Comment deleted
Cathey Cone's avatar

Thank you, Susan! So glad you enjoyed.

Leigh Sims's avatar

Even when we were wearing masks I found myself continuing to smile at people. I knew people couldn’t see the smile but I also knew a true smile is reflected in your eyes.

Aimee Moore's avatar

Yes! I’ve never stopped smiling at people 😊

Irene Kigais's avatar

That is true Leigh . I also hide very well that I hate wearing a mask but unfortunately we have to wear one at clinic areas .

Cindy LaMantia's avatar

Irene ~ your posts, your thoughts, your photos, your gracious baking gifts all speak the language the gentleman saw in your eyes...you are a very kind and giving person, with a beautiful appreciation of gorgeous sunsets and who is happy to share them with us! 😊

Halina Frederick's avatar

Irene I don’t think you have it in you to think or ever say a hurtful word to anyone ❤️

Irene Kigais's avatar

Thank you Halina ❤️

Elizabeth de Pancorvo's avatar

Nice. What we all need right now are smiles to encourage our lives.

Silvina Rosenberg's avatar

Irene, you're so very kind person, always looking to make feel good to others.

Aimee Moore's avatar

Irene is an angel! Seriously!

Christine Davies's avatar

You have always been kind to me and write with feeling & use such lovely caring words. Thank you Irene

💖🙏

Irene Kigais's avatar

You’re most welcome Christine but so do you, you are always kind and check on me especially when I’m feeling down 🙏❤️

Bonnie Gambero's avatar

Hi Graham, I have learned when talking to others to be kind in my words. The piece I am working is the words I say about myself to myself. Not many know this about me I hide it so well. Through the process of listening to you and your self work I was and am inspired to try harder to speak nicer words to me. Thank you graham I do not think you know how much you have helped me. May your blessings be plenty.

Christine Davies's avatar

It is hard to tune out that critical voice in your head. I know I struggle with that. But I'm so glad that you are learning to be kind to yourself. Keep it up & take care

💖🙏

Bonnie Gambero's avatar

thank you for your kind words. I really am trying. It is a dialogue. I am hearing it but not keeping it so close to my heart. I know I am a kind loving person...

Susie Stapleton's avatar

Great poem. I was thinking along with you about what my mother always said " Be careful what you say once the words are said you can't take them back. Once said no taking them back. So always be careful what you say. I know for myself I have said things as soon I said them , wish that I could take them. Words can hurt. Thank you for this reminder of how our words can hurt. Hope you have a good day. Blessings to you in all that you do. You are impacting alot of lives. Thank you again.

Elisa Santibanez's avatar

I agree with you Susie.This poem is a very nice to everyone.If you are hurting just pray for the person who hurt you.You don’t even need to say a word just pray.The good Lord above will heal your hurting sand you will be surprised.God bless you Graham.He will direct and guide you have faith.I always pray for you.

Susie Stapleton's avatar

My mother was a great believer in prayer. When I would go to her when I was troubled her words "just pray about it" she was a very positive person . Good roll model. That's what I do pray .

Susie Stapleton's avatar

Also think before you use your words.

Cathey Cone's avatar

Susie, you are always so positive and kind with your words. I appreciate you!

Susie Stapleton's avatar

Thank you cathey,I wish I was more positive like my mother. She was a great influence on me. Enjoy your writing as well.

Cathey Cone's avatar

Another great prompt for pondering, Graham. Words are definitely powerful weapons for bad or good. The idea that what we say to ourselves becomes what we say to others carries a lot of weight. I know there are trigger words for me that when someone says them, it causes me to want to lash out from internal dialogue that comes from past experiences or hurts or insecurities that still want to hang around in my head. Those same internal dialogues are ones that want to derail me from evolving into the person I want to be. You’re right, we need to spend time building up more positive thought processes to bless ourselves and in return, bless others. What’s in is what comes out, so making sure what’s in is healthy and kind to ourselves will come out the same to those around us. I don’t know who said this, but it’s true: “Be careful with your words. Once they are said, they can only be forgiven, not forgotten.” Thanks for something to be aware of and work on! Goals: more positive going in, less negative coming out.

Anne Wooten's avatar

You are exactly right! What we say and think does reflect on others as well as what is in our hearts! My heart is so full right now as I feel I have grown so much each and every week from your writings and podcasts. Each day I wake up and pray to keep an open heart and be mindful of what I say to others because that is a reflection of myself. With the crazy world we live in right now, I pray for God to open the door for the opportunity to bring a bit of encouraging words or joy to someone who needs it. That brings me so much joy. It has happened so many times lately! By keeping my heart open to that is a reflection of who I really am and wish to continue to be.

Graham, from the bottom of my heart, words cannot express how truly grateful I am the impact your weekly inspirational poems, podcasts, and this community have changed my life in the past couple of months. Thank you again for these wonderful words of reflection today! Blessings my friend!

Laura's avatar

Well said! You are a good hearted person and a joy!

Anne Wooten's avatar

Thank you! Blessings to you!

Roxanne Peters's avatar

That is well said Anne your a very sweet person I love how you think

Anne Wooten's avatar

Thanks Roxanne! This community is so amazing and uplifting. Graham is also!

Roxanne Peters's avatar

I agree with you Anne 100% I think if it wasn’t for Grahams inspiring poem and his beautiful words we wouldn’t be where we are today. Graham has changed so many people and uplifted them in theirs lives. I am very grateful for the people in this community and for Graham as well. Many blessings to you.

Connie Huddleson's avatar

Hi Graham, I wonder lately why I am so hard on myself in the chat room in my head. I can reflect on why, shadows from the past… but it is my choice to continue to carry that torch that singes and burns. I am actively working on stopping the cycle of thought and turning those negatives into positives. There are a lot of clichés - “I’m my own worse enemy.” I am a work in progress and have installed a filter for myself, self loving and nurturing and being kind to me. Words don’t have to be spoken out loud, if you are thinking them they are affecting you. I can’t erase words that I wish had not been spoken, but I can gift myself the grace I give others. Great poem, thank you for sharing. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Bie Matthyssen's avatar

Know yourself, be yourself and love yourself, a work in progress...You are doing so well!💕✨

Connie Huddleson's avatar

Thanks Bie! ❤️❤️❤️

Christine Davies's avatar

I understand where you are coming from Connie. We need to be kinder to ourselves & turn our negative talk into positive instead. Not easy, but worth it. 🙏💖

Connie Huddleson's avatar

Practice! Practice! Practice! Thank you Christine!❤️

Philip J Germani's avatar

Graham, you have written on yet another great, timely topic., at least for me. In the past year I have had so many situations where my inner voice said, "Shut up, Phil." Learning when to be silent is a hard lesson! But as you have pointed out, our words reveal ourselves. Once spoken, they cannot be retrieved. This is more true today than ever before! My concern is that I will take the lesson "too seriously," and retreat, failing to speak when I need to. I hope and pray that I learn to take this lesson the right way. Good stuff, sir.

Lucinda Jolly's avatar

Graham, when I was in my teens I learned a valuable lesson about words and how they can hurt. It wasn’t only the words but the tone behind them. My mother said it’s not what you say but the tone in how you say it. I started saying what I wanted to say in my own head and if what I said to myself sounded hurtful I would reword it or not say it at all. To this day I still do this. We need to consider that many people are hurting too and when we see them the hurt is not always all over their faces. A kind word will always turn away wrath. Thank you for sharing this poem. We all need to reflect. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable.

Elizabeth de Pancorvo's avatar

True, what the world needs are more empathetic people.

Aimee Moore's avatar

Lucinda, this is exactly what I do. I sound out things in my head to make sure what I’m saying isn’t something that feels hurtful to me and reword if it is. Between writing and interacting with others, I’m constantly using a thesaurus Lol

Sherry Kerdman's avatar

Good technique Lucinda. It helps to put ourselves in the shoes of others. There is no need to hurt other people with word weapons, having no purpose.

Christine Davies's avatar

Good on you Lucinda. 🙏👍💖

Aimee Moore's avatar

I like the opposite spin on this. I know I have a tendency to especially try to lift up those who appear to have the same insecurities I do, or are hurting in the way I am at that point.

On the other direction though, like I’ve noticed you doing a couple times, I’m really bad about downplaying my intelligence. I know I’m not dumb, and I know you are not either! To stop saying and thinking it is easier said than done though, I know.

So of coarse when I’m irritated with someone or something, the first words that come to mind are dumb and stupid. My phone and myself take the majority of this abuse because it hurts me as much to hurt someone as it probably hurts them.

Not entirely sure what I’m trying to say here other than I feel this.

Lucinda Jolly's avatar

Aimee, I haven’t seen any side of you but a kind although a bit life hurt. What I encourage you to do is love yourself and move away from the past. You can’t go back and fix yesterday but you can live today as a blessed one and know you’re blessed beyond measure.

Aimee Moore's avatar

Love you Lucinda! I’m a continual work in progress! I love who I am, and who I am becoming but old habits do die hard. I am indeed blessed beyond what I could have ever imagined ❤️ Thank you for sharing your beautiful heart and wisdom!

Leigh Sims's avatar

Aimee, I believe you are a kind and loving person. Take time to love yourself and move forward. Stay strong in your faith and blessings will continue to come your way.❤️

Aimee Moore's avatar

❤️❤️Thank you, love you!

Silvina Rosenberg's avatar

Aimee, I not only see your kind side, you're also a funny person. I laugh reading your posting, with your kind of humor. Trust yourself, you're a valued person.

Aimee Moore's avatar

❤️❤️Thank you. I have such an odd sense of humor😃Love ya!

Elaine Hamilton's avatar

We cannot love others without loving ourselves first. ♥️

Halina Frederick's avatar

Ami I feel you lol as you know I know exactly what your trying to say

Aimee Moore's avatar

❤️❤️Love you!

Halina Frederick's avatar

This was an interesting poem yes words hurt depending on how you use them that’s why you should always think before you speak. Easier said than done, I have learned the hard way as Lynette has said no judgements no opinions and for me I’m definitely a work in progress it’s hard ! It’s hard to take a back seat to a lot of things said, to me that’s the hardest I can hold off on judgements but that is hard for me at times and I must catch myself I try and listen now to people and look at both sides and figure out where their coming from and maybe just pass on ideas and I think sometimes I am my own worst enemy , in my head I’m overthinking, opinionated , and self judgmental I have a tendency to speak up and want to be heard that comes from being the middle child trust me no one listens to you lol many times I’ve had to apologize for my words because people have taken them in the wrong way and not in the way they where intended I’m always trying to come from a place of love and wanting to help❤️

Aimee Moore's avatar

It’s not on you love if your words are misunderstood. That’s the disadvantage of text. A simple explanation to clarify is usual worth its weight in gold to those who don’t understand!

Sherry Kerdman's avatar

Halina, I do agree that it is work to keep opinions to ourselves which would serve no purpose for the greater good. I too have strong opinions but I’ve also learned that most do not want to hear differing points of view which are not solicited: even when they are! . It’s been a long road but now I’m happy to simply hold my own opinion and accept that others do the same.

Aimee Moore's avatar

It makes me sad to hear you say that! I enjoy hearing all different points of view! It’s nice to get a 360 degree spin on things to get the full picture!

Sherry Kerdman's avatar

I agree that it is sad. I grew up learning debate in school and it appears these days it is a bit of a lost art. So much can be learned if we have an open mind to new facts. But it is a different world then back then. The 4 demons Lynette talks about are at play enabled by those who seek division.

Connie Huddleson's avatar

Halina, I understand. I have an opinion on everything. I’m learning that I can keep most of them to myself. We are all growing and learning. Sometimes I think....”how will I be remembered?” What will my legacy be? You are a beautiful person. ❤️❤️❤️

Bie Matthyssen's avatar

I have felt it

how words can hurt

How many times have I been humiliated…

Still I didn't stop loving others,

I stopped loving myself

Until I met people

with warm words,

sowers of love,

healing wounds

I learned to love myself again

I want to be like these people

like you, Graham,

like so many in this group,

who are a shining example

how words can embrace

Thank you for reminding us

to be careful with our words

It makes a world of difference

to ourselves and to an other

Cindy LaMantia's avatar

“The tongue has no

bones, but is strong

enough to break a

heart. So be careful

with your words.” Irina Swart

This quote is one I go to often ~ be it with words of my own self talk or words about to become spoken. I always try to measure how I would feel, if someone spoke to me as I am wanting to speak to them at that moment in time. The other direction that you spoke of Graham is my guide....lifting others up, being a positive presence.

My self talk, at times, can be somewhat harsh. I am my biggest critic and my own work in progress to change my personal perception.

Thank- you, Graham, for once again, being an inspiration for each of us on our journey...your words are a worthy reminder. You are a blessing!

Dorothy A Collins's avatar

Wow! I always had a saying above my phone at home and on my desk at work. "It said put brain in gear, before putting mouth into motion" . The reason for this was that as a kid I was hurt so deeply, by the hurtful words my parents said to me, that I decided at a very young age to make sure I did not hurt anyone the way I was hurt. It took me years of therapy to help me to love myself and throw out those words of hurt. So I have always tried in my 80+ years to think before I speak and to be aware not to hurt someone, because that pain is worse than any physical pain . Thank you again Graham for your beautiful words.

Marsha Cullen's avatar

It did me too! Years of therapy. I cannot tell you how many therapists or counselors that I have been to!!! In my 40 + years of marriage, I have often sought counsel. My parents fought most of the time while I was a young person at home. There was no modeling of good communication and how to live in love. I only knew negativity concerning relationships and roles and children. I vowed to provide a better atmosphere for our children to grow up in. I praise God, I think we did it!

Dorothy A Collins's avatar

It is very sad that people do not realize how words leave such scars on a person, it is far worse than the physical pain, that heals. I had to come to terms with the people that hurt me to save myself, and love myself.

Cathey Cone's avatar

Taking the time to think first helps so much. I've learned you don't always have to respond immediately - it's ok to take a pause and gather your thoughts.

Linda Lubitz's avatar

Graham, a great poem that inspires self-reflection to look within ourselves, to reflect on the journey of life that has made us the person we are today. Today I was reminded of my parents telling me “ if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”. That is what I have tried to do , but there were times in my life ( especially younger years) when that was really hard. Along the way I learned to voice the harsh/ negative response inside my head while trying to keep a smile on my face and count to 10 before responding giving myself to think about my choice of words. It hasn’t always been easy but I know that hurting someone would not have made me feel good about my actions. However, I don’t always follow the saying when talking to myself, that’s still a work in progress. The negative thoughts/words come into my head, linger awhile before I face what is really happening and turn the self talk into dealing with the issue/ feeling.

Thought this quote is something to remember every day:

“ Your words can make hearts SOAR or your words can make hearts SORE.”

Blessings to all and thanks Graham for your inspiring words!

Teresa Conlon's avatar

Beautiful quote Linda, and yes when I was younger I was taught if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all.

Delores A. Repass's avatar

Scripture says the tongue is a two way sword, just as you said, soar or sore.

Cindy LaMantia's avatar

I have never heard this quote before...it’s a very good one! Thank-you for sharing, Linda

Linda Lubitz's avatar

Cindy, the quote is from “The Little Book of Love Letters to the World”, it has some great short messages like that. I thumb through it every day. Another one I like is “Your mind is a garden. Your thoughts are the seeds. You can go flowers or you can grow weeds.”

Cindy LaMantia's avatar

Good Morning, Linda ~ thank-you for letting me know. I just ordered it & I am excited for it to arrive. I appreciate your sharing...always enjoy something new to look forward to! Enjoy this beautiful Thursday we’ve been given!!

Cindy LaMantia's avatar

Hello again....I just realized the book I ordered ( in my excitement) doesn’t say “ to the world” in the title. I fear I may have ordered a different book....would you be able to give me the author’s name? The one I ordered is by Lil Copan. Sorry to bother you ~ Thank- you for your help!

I like the mind is a garden one as well!

Linda Lubitz's avatar

Cindy, there isn’t an author given but it’s from SUGARBOO & CO. I found mine in a boutique store here but you can google it also. The cover is tan with black letters. Hopefully this helps and you can find it.

Cindy LaMantia's avatar

Hi Linda ~ just a follow up to let you know I found a copy and it is supposed to be delivered on Monday. Again, thank-you for the recommendation ~ I’m looking forward to reading this! Hope you have a great weekend!!

Linda Lubitz's avatar

Oh good, and wishes for a good weekend for you. Hope you like the book.

Cindy LaMantia's avatar

Thank-you for getting back to me...I will search!

Linda Lubitz's avatar

Barbara, the quote is from “ The Little Book of Love Letters” to The World”. It has many short inspiring messages.

Jody Sweeney's avatar

When I was a kid, my brother and I used to spar verbally with sarcastic comments to each other (kind of like you and your brother used to butt heads!). I got really good at ripping off a sarcastic comment if I ever needed to. Of course, I didn't even think about the effect it may have on someone or the fact that it was indeed a permanent scar on the heart of the other person. As I have matured in my faith (and age), I have been much more cognizant of what I say and the effect it may have. I usually try to weigh my words before they leave my mouth (I said "usually" as it's something I still work at). I have decided that I'm better off just not saying anything if I'm not sure how it will come out of my mouth. When I was teaching, I used to have a lesson that resonated well with my students and myself. I would take a construction paper heart and have the kids tell me words or sayings that hurt when they heard them. With each phrase, I would fold the heart until it was just a small scrap of paper. Then I would ask the kids to give me words or phrases of kindness and encouragement. As they gave them to me, I would unfold the paper heart. When it was unfolded, I would hold it up and show them that the heart was whole again, but you could see the lines from being folded. We would then discuss that even with an apology or nicer words, there were still scars left on the heart. It is a lesson that impacted me as well as the kids.

Sherry Kerdman's avatar

Jody what a great visual way of imparting to kids what consequences their words can have! I am definitely going to pass this forward! Thank you.