There have been several times in my life that I wanted to just move forward without taking the time to work through a situation or re-member. I’ve learned, though, that stuffing feelings or memories about a difficult time or struggle in a relationship just doesn’t work. They always float to the surface repeatedly until they are acknowledged and confronted. It’s painful but necessary if you’re ever going to move ahead without dragging along that baggage. When it comes to compromising integrity, that’s one that definitely comes back to bite. Once you learn to be true to yourself, you never want to go back. It’s not always easy to stand your ground and not cave under pressure, but the personal rewards for standing in your own truth far outweigh anything you have to confront. The confronting may mean losing a relationship. That’s hard, but sometimes necessary. Thanks for another great piece of writing, Graham. And the video brought out some really good thoughts. Hope you’re well.
You are so right, Cathey. "Stuffed" feelings or memories really do have a way of rearing their ugly heads and usually at the worst possible time. There is such freedom in confronting that baggage (as you called it) head on, as difficult as it may be to do so. Thanks for your thoughts.
Totally spoken from experience (imagine that?)! My experience is that often times, avoidance seems to compound the problem. I have a lot of experience! LOL
I loved your words Cathey!! I have felt the same way but I would push those thoughts away cause I felt it was better to not deal with them. But I now know that I need to deal with things that hurt in order to heal from it. Thank you!!!
Struggles pushed aside always bounce back at some point. It's work, but facing those things and working through them with God's help brings the healing!
I have that issue now Cathey. Stuffed feelings. I was talking yesterday about resolving an issue about my sister’s husband. My mom had told me that I needed to resolve the issue so I could be free and move on. It’s easier said then done. Just waiting to hear God tell me when it’s the right time.
Sometimes timing is very important. But it can also be a way of delaying the inevitable. I'll be praying that you have the right words when the time is right, Shari. 💕
Absolutely not easy. And sometimes it takes confronting them more than once. But I know that shoving them back down doesn't work. And sometimes we need help or guidance from someone objective who can help us work through them. And I think part of it for me was not putting myself back in them once I worked through them. We're all just works in progress, Christine! 💕
Im turning to you again for technical help, Cathey! Your instructions on joining founders were so plain, even I could follow them. ha. I didn't receive an email notice with the link to today's wonderful poem. I finally tracd it down by going through a previous week's comment that was still in my inbox. Do you know how I could report this? Thanks so much!
Did you check your junk or promotions folder in your email? I’ve had Substack emails go there. You can always just go through your browser to grahamwardle.Substack.com and sign in there. If you don’t find the email, maybe contact Substack through your account or check with Graham to see if you’re still in his email list? Hope this helps.
Patty…Cathey is giving you good instructions. I have had emails from Graham to go to spam for whatever reason. So consider checking your spam folder. If you find it there resend it to your inbox. I did and it worked. Glad you joined the founders group. You will benefit tremendously.
Thanks once again. I did get email notification of your reply and one other related to my comment on today's post, so I'm hopeful. I'll see what happens next Tuesday.
Graham a very topical poem which you are aware I have recently experienced. I faced a dilemma where I needed to be true to my honesty, my integrity and my ethics and walked away rather than judge others. It is an energy one needs not to be swallowed up in a sea of words. I have made a commitment to a set of principles and it’s necessary to stay true to those principles. It’s not about them and it’s not about me. It’s all about integrity and your truth. It is very hard when you are young to understand who you are and what you want to become. At 35 you are a beacon of light to guide your generation and those that follow you. I have done the same. Re-member, We will do what it takes to keep others from being lost in the fog even to our own detriment and personal sacrifice
Jeffry, you had a calling and have dedicated your life to helping others. Many people have benefited from this and many more will in the future. Thank you!!!
Last week’s poem World In Deep ,really resonated with me and when you asked us what is our calling from our world in deep ,my answer was that I wanted to make lots of memories with my mum. Well that is not going to happen as my mum passed away suddenly and peacefully last Sunday . All I can do now is RE-MEMBER and cherish all our beautiful memories we spent together . I learned a very valuable lesson this week not to take anything for granted and to live life to its fullest with your loved ones. Thanks for another beautifully written poem!!
Irene -- I think I mentioned this before, but my daughter gave me a gift called StoryWorth. It's an online subscription where you write stories (with pictures if you want) on your computer. The company then publishes them in a hardbound book. I wrote many stories about my mom (with pictures) after she died. It was so cathartic. I now have a wonderful book of memories. Thinking of you! xoxo
When I was a volunteer at a women's prison, a few times I was asked to talk with someone who had received news of a loved one's death. How difficult it was for them. I could hold their hand, suggest bringing to mind good memories, and pray with them. I'll never know the effect of my efforts and don't need to. Since then, I have lost a number of significant ones and I remember those inmates. I wish I could hold your hand, Irene. I do pray for peace for you, for your mother is at peace.
I am sorry to read about your mum. The memories that you had with her will last a lifetime. You will never forget...but always re-member the good times.💕
Oh no, Irene! I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I know your heart is breaking. I can so relate. I'm glad you have memories to cherish. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
You have my heartfelt condolences, Irene. The sudden loss of your dear mum must be so hard. May you find comfort in the memories of your time together. I am holding you in thought and prayer as you mourn the passing of your beloved mum. Take good care. God Bless you and yours.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I am so thankful that I get to see my parents (both 90) at least 2 times a week. Mom has dementia and her thoughts and memories might be muddled, but occasionally the old Mom will pop out.
I am so sorry to hear your Mum passed so soon. I saw your post on Twitter and so I knew. I'm sending you prayers, hugs and you will be in my thoughts. I'm trying to live like you mentioned. Life to the fullest. Take care!
Irene, I am so sorry for your loss but you can look back at the wonderful memories from your party . Have peace in the knowledge that your beautiful Mum is now safe in the arms of your Dad . Thinking of you and your family and sending hugs and love to you all💖🇦🇺🙏
Irene, my heart goes out to you and your family. I know you were preparing to take on caring for your Mom for as long as you could. Her passing coming so suddenly has to have hit you hard. I just can't even imagine how you are feeling. Please know you are loved by so many and we collectively send our love and prayers to you. Take care and God Bless.🙏❤
I’m so sorry about your mom Irene! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers as you grieve and move through your healing process. Keep your faith strong and god will guide you through it!
I am so sorry to hear of your mom’s passing. I lost my mom 15 years ago and still miss her every day. May your fond memories of her stay close to your heart ❤️. God bless and know my thoughts are with you.
Over the past several days, I've been doing a lot of reflecting on the last four 1/2 months and really over my entire life. Not evaluating or tearing myself down, but reflecting on the many blessings that have come or passed my way. Having said that and not getting into many details, I started thinking, is there anything from the past that I need to face or take care of? I couldn't really think of anything specific. This poem is a reminder is that I'm right where I'm supposed to be and anything that may come up in the future I will deal with those things as they arise with God's guidance. Thank you for this reminder. We cannot escape these things, but we have to walk through the valley and not around it. Wishing you all the best Graham! Blessings to you and the entire community!
Amen Lucinda! I couldn't agree more. The old saying "With age comes Wisdom", but of course any wisdom I receive comes from my faith in God as I know yours does also. What I learn, I wish to share and use that to encourage others. Take care my friend!
Anne everyone has a different place where their truths come from - from without or from within. Just as long you recognize what that truth is and you follow it’s path then you will allow those around to understand you better… not judge you understand you
That is very true Jeff. That's what I try to do and my intent anyway. Everyone is different and like you say their truths may be revealed in other ways. We all need to remember that. Take care!
July is usually my remember month as this is the 11th anniversary of my husband's suicide and I never quite know how I'll be or what will come up that I still have to deal with. So far I've been ok. I do feel sad for what might have been, but don't dwell there as I can't change what is and what happened. I started reading a book by Louie Giglio called, "Don't give the enemy a seat at your table." its based on Psalm 23. The interesting thing I learned is that God prepared a table in the presence of my enemies, but I decide if they are invited. I have the power through Jesus to take authority over who sits at my table- who I let influence my thinking and my thoughts. My table is for me and the Almighty God.
Graham, another very thought-provoking poem. The title is perfect for what I am about to write. Two months ago on your monthly group chat I was blessed to be called on by you. One of the questions I asked was if it would be possible to meet you in person. Your answer was very gracious as they always are. We talked of a possible “meet and greet” with many of us. I then went on vacation to Ireland and returned with Covid. I was down for two weeks. During that time, I had an epiphany! It dawned on me, I have already had a “meet and greet” with you on that group chat! I was able to speak to you and you to me and so many others. I re-membered that it isn’t about me. Would I want you to be exposed to Covid? No, never! We all admire you, and for you to give us this opportunity each month is such a privilege. I had to re-member that I am a member of a very special group and that is absolutely more than enough. I know of no other celebrity who shares so much of himself and interacts with his fans as you do. I have re-membered to be so grateful for what you offer to me and so many others. Thank you so sincerely!
Debbie!! You have said in words what a lot of us have been thinking!!! Yes we would all be honored to meet with Graham. He is a great person who loves everyone. I would love to get on zoom and talk with him like you did. But I am not good with hooking all the things up. So I end up watching replay. Which I love this community!! Everyone is so caring and loving with each other. I send all my prayers and love to you. I want to be with the founders but I don’t know what I have to do. But I guess if I keep working with this I will find out. Thanks for sharing your feelings and thoughts with all of us 🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️
Patty, thanks for your kind words. I switched from just a member to a Founder. I don’t remember how I did it! I think you can go into Substack/GrahamWardle and change it their. It’s really easy. Good luck with it. Hope to see you at the next Chst session.
Thanks again, Graham for another wonderful piece of writing. It is so true things you don’t face will come back again, until you finally face them. For me, the times in my life when I didn’t initially face things by either pushing them down, ignoring them or hoping it would just go away, I would notice that I had an uneasy feeling within myself and no matter what I did that feeling didn’t go away until I faced what I was trying to avoid. Once I did that I felt so much better. Most recently I faced a feeling I had been carrying/ hiding for several years, I remembered when I first had the feeling, the many times it would come back over the years, finally I listened to the signs and my heart telling me I could no longer avoid it. I took a leap of faith, dealt with the feeling by sharing it with my kids, and now feel so much peace within myself. Wish I would have done it sooner, but I just wasn’t ready. So what in my life do I need to re- member, that I have the strength within myself to face challenges that might arise and to re-member the blessings I have in my life each day.
You definitely have to be ready to move forward & tackle those moments of your life that have held you back. It can take time. I know as I have experienced this.
I recently had an encounter where I was faced with a painful memory & didn't handle it well. But I faced it head on & was able to move forward. We need to also remember to be kind to ourselves & not get caught up in the blame game.
Good on you, for having the strength to face your challenges & remember all the blessings you have in your life.
That is so true, you have to be open to those moments and sometimes there are things you have to learn before you can deal with them. One does need to re- member to be kind and love yourself first so you have the strength to handle things and move forward. Good to hear you faced your memory and can now move on. Blessings to you.
Glad you took the leap, Linda! It freed you to start working on becoming healthy and happy in your life's journey moving forward. As we rid ourselves of old baggage we will step lighter!
I have to re-member there is something outside my front door waiting for me. I have to re-member laughter and socializing is what brings fun and comfort. I remember!!!
I love your comment, Elaine, especially the part that there is something outside your front door. Too often these days, people are socializing through their screens and, even though that can be good, I feel like they are missing opportunities to laugh and socialize in person. I fully believe God intends us to do life together. Thanks for your comment.
Graham thank you for this reminder, the more I watch the video more tears . I am on the process of moving forward from my past medical journey. This is a great poem and it reflex to remember my past medical and I can’t seem to unstuck from within me. Take care and God blessed be safe.Cheers!🙏❤️
You have had a journey that most of us can't even imagine. It's understandable that you would still struggle to move forward because you're still in it! I'm hoping that sharing your journey in writing will help when you are encouraged by what your story inspires in others. Give yourself the grace of time, my friend! Hugs to you! 💕
Thank you I been praying and crying and I had a good 1:1 conversation with my therapist. You always know how to lift me up when I need it. Ralph just let me be in my prayer room since he got home been in there since 3:00 this afternoon. 🙏❤️
Thank you Christine I have so many good memories growing up and some not so perfect but it was all good to remember but my past medical I have the hardest struggles of all. Even with the help with therapist this last 7 1/5 years I am still struggling. I am trying my very best to let it go then it hits right back as I blame myself for not advocating or seek second opinion.
I remember the first time I saw him to this day. My body tingled, I was lightheaded and my head was a complete blank. Sound familiar? I'm sure so many of us have had this feeling...attraction to someone right away. Totally on the physical level first but I knew I had to take steps to know him more and I did. We went through high school together and worked in student government where he was the President and I was the Treasurer. He was on varsity baseball and basketball and I was on the Booster Club cheering from the bleachers. When college started we ended up at the same place...he on a sports scholarship and me pursuing my dream to become a teacher. We dated, graduated and married two years later. The perfect love story...
As married life marched on I came to feel different tinglings in my body. As a couple it looked like we had everything...good jobs, children, nice home...but did we? More and more I saw our differences were BIG. We had differing values and goals. He was interested in material things and how it made him feel successful. I wanted to save the world and everyone in it. The list of our differences became unbearably long. I saw it, he saw it. No need for the dirty laundry but after 21 years we finally made it official and ended our marriage.
The aftermath was ugly. I counted on his support financially to help with the kids and he didn't live up to that so I became angry at him and little by little I communicated with him less and we avoided each other at all costs. It was easy enough to do that because he had remarried and moved to another state. The kids and I were on our own. So many years of hardship for me and my children went by and I had never resolved my feelings with their father. They had their estrangements also and awkwardly reconnected after many years. I was thankful for that but I knew in my heart I had to heal my heart also. I wouldn't be able to be free of the wounds unless I faced them.
Little by little at a family gatherings where we were both at we had some small conversations to break the ice. The biggest one came on Grandparents day at my granddaughter's preschool. I was just weeks away from after my heart attack and I saw a difference in our encounter there. He was genuinely concerned for me and spoke to me as a friend. Then just this year I needed help cleaning out my storage shed. My son asked his Dad if he could help me because some of his old things were still stored in it too. He agreed to help.
It was a family endeavor, all of us there at the shed at one time or the other sorting through the stuff that we had in our lives, taking some to the dump and saving as little as possible. But there was a time at the shed that it was just my ex-husband and myself. We spoke to each other kindly and with care. We found our common ground and were able to stand in it together. I realized that we were both Re-membered our relationship and we wanted to heal the wounds. And without words, just the spirit that flowed between us...we finally did.
All things in time, Barbara, yes? And now you are able to enjoy your children and the grands together. Indeed, a blessing. Thank you for sharing your journey. You write so beautifully.
It is a great feeling to be in the same room together and look over at each other after one of the grandchildren say or do something and smile at each other because we were both a part of that. And our children are happy about not having the elephant sitting in the room any longer.❤🙏
Thank you, Leigh, for adding a like heart to my comment about the terrific turn around Graham's last two poems stirred in me! This may seem peculiar, but it was as if each of his Tuesday poems was like putting a nutricious item on the conveyor belt at a grocery check out. Then - the total rang up week before last and I finally saw how they all fit together. I still have a lot of work to do on eating well and exercising more, but I have been acting from my heart in all my daily activities with people for two weeks. I am happy! Thanks again for appreciating this important milestone in my life.
When I was about 18 I did a painting for someone. I worked hard on it and in the end it became a lithograph. The lady didn’t specify the style of painted art she wanted. I guess she wanted a picture that resembled a photograph painting. She didn’t understand painting and I didn’t understand people. She destroyed the painting. She didn’t understand the pain she caused me and I didn’t say a word to her about it. I learned many lessons but I did know that from that point on I would not paint according to someone’s orders. If they saw something I had painted and wanted it, I would sell or give it to them. I learned to not judge people according to my thoughts. Give people the room to disagree or even lack the knowledge you have. If you can’t reason with them walk away. Jesus said it best if you go into a house to share something good and they inside receive it you bless the house, if they don’t walk away and remove the dirt from your feet. You did your best so now you can move on. You will remember the lessons.
That must have been so devastating. So sorry that happened. Creating is so powerful and deep. I would guess this person was hurting or broken at a deep level that they felt they had to go to that length.
Itskind of likeGods word, so powerful and beautiful andsome trash it or ignore it. He completely gets the pain you felt. He also knows your heart and your honest intention of sharing beauty that you created.
So yes, it is good now that you can share your gift and create for people and not judge.
My own human expectations almost always let me down. Ahhhh every single day.
Bless you for your creative heart and willingness to simply bless others with your gift.
Good morning Graham happy Tuesday to you and to everyone in this community. I woke up early today because I was anticipating Graham’s writing.I remember myself when I was a teenager I fell in love very young and we eloped without thinking of the consequences.There was no alternative our parents allowed us to get married.We stayed with my in laws with many challenges and struggles. I remembered my mother and I realized what I did was wrong.I came to my senses and I decided to ask forgiveness to my mother.I have to face my fear this is the right way to do it. I went to my mother to ask forgiveness.Just like the prodigal son with her two arms she embraced me with her shedding tears.I remember my mother since I was a baby upon her knees she sacrificed everything for me.I stole the gold from her hair I needed her always.She decided to send me to University.I finished my Bachelor of Education through Masteral Degree.I became a successful educator. Although I am now 80 years of age I still remember my mother.Because of her I was able to face my fear.Thank you again Graham for another poem.I was able to share how I faced my fear.Have a good week my friends in this community.
Well, I was lucky because my area of training required that we have psychological support during college, that was so good, because I learned early on the importance of re-signifying life events and learning from them, of course, that there are situations that take me out of my axis, but then I remember the scriptures “even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid..." Luke 12:7 This is where I seek "courage to go in and reconnect with these parts" as difficult as they are, because I know that God allowed it and therefore, I can win, maybe not in my time, but in God's time!
Hi Angela ~ wanted to ask you a question because I'm not sure I understand GW's poem. Like you I was lucky because I had to go through extensive therapy to get my counseling degree. I learned to reframe feelings & life experiences. I have had a lot of paradigm shifts in my life & continue to all the time. I'm so self-aware I almost drive myself crazy with it -- because I am definitely a flawed human being. Can you help me understand today's message?
I'll highlight the following verse, because that's where I understood the message (or I think I did):
“I will need to re-member
In this life or the next
I must face it all
It cannot be avoided”
I understood that GW encourages us to face all the moments of life, whether comfortable or not, and learn lessons, so the poem says “I will need to remember”, I understand that it is “remembering” to change the Anglo, the perspective of how I see a certain situation and identify where the “broken parts” are in order to rebuild them and establish new connections, generating a “sense of responsibility” for our life, because “there is nothing I can escape, I have to face everything”.
When you say "I've had a lot of paradigm shifts in my life and I keep going all the time" that's the heart of the poem, it's through change - whatever it may be - that we face circumstances and realign with our true selves, making us more empowered, I loved this explanation GW “you gain your power back and you become more and more of your true self, your authentic self, more empowered and more able to live your life the way you always dreamed of” .
Well, that's what I understood, I hope my writing is understandable - lol
P.S.: I loved that you asked me this question, so we can talk and learn more, thank you!
Angela ~ maybe GW means something as simple as giving an apology. Recently, (after 6 months) I apologized to a young gal because I had been pretty “assertive” with her about where she & her friends sat in our community theatre – during Co-Vid seating. I said, “I’m so sorry the teacher came out in me when you didn’t want to sit where I put you.”
Very graciously she said, “No problem! We were out of line.” She continued, “I spend most of August writing I’m sorry notes.” Ha! I think she & I may become friends.
Perhaps, I try to get too deep with GW’s poems (hazard of being an old English teacher). Of course, we all feel better -- relieved -- when we face our problems and also relate to others through love & honesty -- every day. Do you think I simplified this too much now? ~ J.
WOW. It is in the simple that we have the best answers!
Your example was perfect and it is in line with what i understood in the poem and in the explanation by GW, especially when he says, when we realign, we become more authentic.
Thank you for another great, thought provoking poem Graham. Just yesterday a situation arose that bought up feelings of something that has been pushed down for many years. I know that I need to have this bought to the fore and healed so I can move on and not react in a negative way in the future. I want to move on in a way that things of the past are remembered in a good way and not bring up negative feelings.
Thanks for this lovely poem Graham. It truly reminded me that there is a definite re-connect I need to make in my life. It is very personal, and so I won't elaborate here at this time. The poem and your words ignited my mind and made me further realize what I need to do before it is too late. Before I run out of time and have to live on with much guilt. Thank you again Graham, for a job well done. The Podcast today was fabulous. I could listen to you forever. 108 minutes of pure entertainment!!!!👏👏👏👏👏❤❤❤
Kathleen, sending prayers for your reconnect. Trust your faith to help you, I feel you will find inner peace and more blessings will come. It may not be easy but it will be worth it.
Kathleen, I hope that you do make that re-connect in your life. I'm certain, especially after reflecting on Graham's poem, that it will lighten you up and you will feel free from that weight. I wish you strength of mind and spirit to take that on. Much love...
I am going through this at the moment. I have gained some of my confidence back, but haven't fully let go of the fear from the past. I need to re-member that I can do this, I have before & will again. I am slowly working up to facing my fear & know I will get past it soon.
I also wanted to say that this poem really hit home for me. It made me really think about what I need to do & how I do have the strength to move forward & not to let past memories consume me. Thank you Graham for your amazing poetry & making me reflect on my life. 🙏💕
There have been several times in my life that I wanted to just move forward without taking the time to work through a situation or re-member. I’ve learned, though, that stuffing feelings or memories about a difficult time or struggle in a relationship just doesn’t work. They always float to the surface repeatedly until they are acknowledged and confronted. It’s painful but necessary if you’re ever going to move ahead without dragging along that baggage. When it comes to compromising integrity, that’s one that definitely comes back to bite. Once you learn to be true to yourself, you never want to go back. It’s not always easy to stand your ground and not cave under pressure, but the personal rewards for standing in your own truth far outweigh anything you have to confront. The confronting may mean losing a relationship. That’s hard, but sometimes necessary. Thanks for another great piece of writing, Graham. And the video brought out some really good thoughts. Hope you’re well.
You are so right, Cathey. "Stuffed" feelings or memories really do have a way of rearing their ugly heads and usually at the worst possible time. There is such freedom in confronting that baggage (as you called it) head on, as difficult as it may be to do so. Thanks for your thoughts.
Spoken from experience, right? I still struggle with confrontation but finally learned not to collapse my boundaries Avoidance never works.
Totally spoken from experience (imagine that?)! My experience is that often times, avoidance seems to compound the problem. I have a lot of experience! LOL
Cathey, you always have the rigth word to say. The real challenge is to understand if what you lose by standing in your truth, was really for you.
That's an interesting question, Silvina. And one to think about as you decide how to confront, when, and why.
Well said Cathey and so true!
You’re just a beautiful person,Cathey.
I loved your words Cathey!! I have felt the same way but I would push those thoughts away cause I felt it was better to not deal with them. But I now know that I need to deal with things that hurt in order to heal from it. Thank you!!!
Struggles pushed aside always bounce back at some point. It's work, but facing those things and working through them with God's help brings the healing!
I have that issue now Cathey. Stuffed feelings. I was talking yesterday about resolving an issue about my sister’s husband. My mom had told me that I needed to resolve the issue so I could be free and move on. It’s easier said then done. Just waiting to hear God tell me when it’s the right time.
Sometimes timing is very important. But it can also be a way of delaying the inevitable. I'll be praying that you have the right words when the time is right, Shari. 💕
Thank you Cathey, I promise not put it off. It’s hard because I’m just not sure I would know what to say where it doesn’t sound mean.
Confronting your fears is extremely difficult. I'm glad you got through yours Cathey. 😊
Absolutely not easy. And sometimes it takes confronting them more than once. But I know that shoving them back down doesn't work. And sometimes we need help or guidance from someone objective who can help us work through them. And I think part of it for me was not putting myself back in them once I worked through them. We're all just works in progress, Christine! 💕
So true Cathey
💕🙏
Im turning to you again for technical help, Cathey! Your instructions on joining founders were so plain, even I could follow them. ha. I didn't receive an email notice with the link to today's wonderful poem. I finally tracd it down by going through a previous week's comment that was still in my inbox. Do you know how I could report this? Thanks so much!
You can have Substack in the favorites bar of your computer, in my case that makes it easier for me to read all the messages.
Thanks to all who have assisted me with my one time glitch. I think it's fixed. Blessings to you all.
That's a good way to go.
Did you check your junk or promotions folder in your email? I’ve had Substack emails go there. You can always just go through your browser to grahamwardle.Substack.com and sign in there. If you don’t find the email, maybe contact Substack through your account or check with Graham to see if you’re still in his email list? Hope this helps.
Patty…Cathey is giving you good instructions. I have had emails from Graham to go to spam for whatever reason. So consider checking your spam folder. If you find it there resend it to your inbox. I did and it worked. Glad you joined the founders group. You will benefit tremendously.
Thanks once again. I did get email notification of your reply and one other related to my comment on today's post, so I'm hopeful. I'll see what happens next Tuesday.
That's good news - must mean you are still connected to Graham's substack email. Hope it works for you next Tueday!
Graham a very topical poem which you are aware I have recently experienced. I faced a dilemma where I needed to be true to my honesty, my integrity and my ethics and walked away rather than judge others. It is an energy one needs not to be swallowed up in a sea of words. I have made a commitment to a set of principles and it’s necessary to stay true to those principles. It’s not about them and it’s not about me. It’s all about integrity and your truth. It is very hard when you are young to understand who you are and what you want to become. At 35 you are a beacon of light to guide your generation and those that follow you. I have done the same. Re-member, We will do what it takes to keep others from being lost in the fog even to our own detriment and personal sacrifice
You are indeed a man of integrity, Jeffry.
You have been a blessing in my life, Jeffry.
When you have respect for yourself and all that you are, others will respect you too Jeffrey. You are respected.
Jeffry, I admire you for doing what is right and being true to your integrity. You have a servant’s heart and I appreciate your friendship. Thank you.
Jeffry, you had a calling and have dedicated your life to helping others. Many people have benefited from this and many more will in the future. Thank you!!!
Thank you for your kind words Vicky!
Last week’s poem World In Deep ,really resonated with me and when you asked us what is our calling from our world in deep ,my answer was that I wanted to make lots of memories with my mum. Well that is not going to happen as my mum passed away suddenly and peacefully last Sunday . All I can do now is RE-MEMBER and cherish all our beautiful memories we spent together . I learned a very valuable lesson this week not to take anything for granted and to live life to its fullest with your loved ones. Thanks for another beautifully written poem!!
Irene -- I think I mentioned this before, but my daughter gave me a gift called StoryWorth. It's an online subscription where you write stories (with pictures if you want) on your computer. The company then publishes them in a hardbound book. I wrote many stories about my mom (with pictures) after she died. It was so cathartic. I now have a wonderful book of memories. Thinking of you! xoxo
Thanks Jan I will be trying this.🙏❤️😢
When I was a volunteer at a women's prison, a few times I was asked to talk with someone who had received news of a loved one's death. How difficult it was for them. I could hold their hand, suggest bringing to mind good memories, and pray with them. I'll never know the effect of my efforts and don't need to. Since then, I have lost a number of significant ones and I remember those inmates. I wish I could hold your hand, Irene. I do pray for peace for you, for your mother is at peace.
I am sorry to read about your mum. The memories that you had with her will last a lifetime. You will never forget...but always re-member the good times.💕
Irene, sorry for loss.
May your memories give you Peace.
Oh no, Irene! I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I know your heart is breaking. I can so relate. I'm glad you have memories to cherish. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
You have my heartfelt condolences, Irene. The sudden loss of your dear mum must be so hard. May you find comfort in the memories of your time together. I am holding you in thought and prayer as you mourn the passing of your beloved mum. Take good care. God Bless you and yours.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I am so thankful that I get to see my parents (both 90) at least 2 times a week. Mom has dementia and her thoughts and memories might be muddled, but occasionally the old Mom will pop out.
I am so sorry to hear your Mum passed so soon. I saw your post on Twitter and so I knew. I'm sending you prayers, hugs and you will be in my thoughts. I'm trying to live like you mentioned. Life to the fullest. Take care!
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Irene, I am so sorry for your loss but you can look back at the wonderful memories from your party . Have peace in the knowledge that your beautiful Mum is now safe in the arms of your Dad . Thinking of you and your family and sending hugs and love to you all💖🇦🇺🙏
Irene, my heart goes out to you and your family. I know you were preparing to take on caring for your Mom for as long as you could. Her passing coming so suddenly has to have hit you hard. I just can't even imagine how you are feeling. Please know you are loved by so many and we collectively send our love and prayers to you. Take care and God Bless.🙏❤
I'm so sorry, Irene. I know this wasn't how you thought things would go with your mum. I'm praying you find comfort in the time you had with her.
I’m so sorry about your mom Irene! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers as you grieve and move through your healing process. Keep your faith strong and god will guide you through it!
I am so sorry to hear of your mom’s passing. I lost my mom 15 years ago and still miss her every day. May your fond memories of her stay close to your heart ❤️. God bless and know my thoughts are with you.
As you know Irene, I am here for you. Your mum's passing has been a huge shock & I pray for you during this sad time. 🙏🙏🙏💕💕💕
Over the past several days, I've been doing a lot of reflecting on the last four 1/2 months and really over my entire life. Not evaluating or tearing myself down, but reflecting on the many blessings that have come or passed my way. Having said that and not getting into many details, I started thinking, is there anything from the past that I need to face or take care of? I couldn't really think of anything specific. This poem is a reminder is that I'm right where I'm supposed to be and anything that may come up in the future I will deal with those things as they arise with God's guidance. Thank you for this reminder. We cannot escape these things, but we have to walk through the valley and not around it. Wishing you all the best Graham! Blessings to you and the entire community!
And we know Who walks through valleys with us, don't we Anne? I so happy for you in your journey.
Yes we do! Thanks Jody! Take care and God bless!
What we learned, we share and become witnesses to.
Amen Lucinda! I couldn't agree more. The old saying "With age comes Wisdom", but of course any wisdom I receive comes from my faith in God as I know yours does also. What I learn, I wish to share and use that to encourage others. Take care my friend!
Anne everyone has a different place where their truths come from - from without or from within. Just as long you recognize what that truth is and you follow it’s path then you will allow those around to understand you better… not judge you understand you
That is very true Jeff. That's what I try to do and my intent anyway. Everyone is different and like you say their truths may be revealed in other ways. We all need to remember that. Take care!
You are in the right place, thank you for sharing your inspiring messages. 🌼
Thanks Elizabeth!
July is usually my remember month as this is the 11th anniversary of my husband's suicide and I never quite know how I'll be or what will come up that I still have to deal with. So far I've been ok. I do feel sad for what might have been, but don't dwell there as I can't change what is and what happened. I started reading a book by Louie Giglio called, "Don't give the enemy a seat at your table." its based on Psalm 23. The interesting thing I learned is that God prepared a table in the presence of my enemies, but I decide if they are invited. I have the power through Jesus to take authority over who sits at my table- who I let influence my thinking and my thoughts. My table is for me and the Almighty God.
I am a huge Louie Giglio fan! He has a way of bringing brand new perspective on so many topics.
You said all of this so well,Bev. When we actually see the enemy for who and what he is it will be a hearty laugh aimed at him.
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Graham, another very thought-provoking poem. The title is perfect for what I am about to write. Two months ago on your monthly group chat I was blessed to be called on by you. One of the questions I asked was if it would be possible to meet you in person. Your answer was very gracious as they always are. We talked of a possible “meet and greet” with many of us. I then went on vacation to Ireland and returned with Covid. I was down for two weeks. During that time, I had an epiphany! It dawned on me, I have already had a “meet and greet” with you on that group chat! I was able to speak to you and you to me and so many others. I re-membered that it isn’t about me. Would I want you to be exposed to Covid? No, never! We all admire you, and for you to give us this opportunity each month is such a privilege. I had to re-member that I am a member of a very special group and that is absolutely more than enough. I know of no other celebrity who shares so much of himself and interacts with his fans as you do. I have re-membered to be so grateful for what you offer to me and so many others. Thank you so sincerely!
Debbie!! You have said in words what a lot of us have been thinking!!! Yes we would all be honored to meet with Graham. He is a great person who loves everyone. I would love to get on zoom and talk with him like you did. But I am not good with hooking all the things up. So I end up watching replay. Which I love this community!! Everyone is so caring and loving with each other. I send all my prayers and love to you. I want to be with the founders but I don’t know what I have to do. But I guess if I keep working with this I will find out. Thanks for sharing your feelings and thoughts with all of us 🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️
Patty, thanks for your kind words. I switched from just a member to a Founder. I don’t remember how I did it! I think you can go into Substack/GrahamWardle and change it their. It’s really easy. Good luck with it. Hope to see you at the next Chst session.
Thanks Debbie! Me too ❤️❤️
Thanks again, Graham for another wonderful piece of writing. It is so true things you don’t face will come back again, until you finally face them. For me, the times in my life when I didn’t initially face things by either pushing them down, ignoring them or hoping it would just go away, I would notice that I had an uneasy feeling within myself and no matter what I did that feeling didn’t go away until I faced what I was trying to avoid. Once I did that I felt so much better. Most recently I faced a feeling I had been carrying/ hiding for several years, I remembered when I first had the feeling, the many times it would come back over the years, finally I listened to the signs and my heart telling me I could no longer avoid it. I took a leap of faith, dealt with the feeling by sharing it with my kids, and now feel so much peace within myself. Wish I would have done it sooner, but I just wasn’t ready. So what in my life do I need to re- member, that I have the strength within myself to face challenges that might arise and to re-member the blessings I have in my life each day.
You definitely have to be ready to move forward & tackle those moments of your life that have held you back. It can take time. I know as I have experienced this.
I recently had an encounter where I was faced with a painful memory & didn't handle it well. But I faced it head on & was able to move forward. We need to also remember to be kind to ourselves & not get caught up in the blame game.
Good on you, for having the strength to face your challenges & remember all the blessings you have in your life.
That is so true, you have to be open to those moments and sometimes there are things you have to learn before you can deal with them. One does need to re- member to be kind and love yourself first so you have the strength to handle things and move forward. Good to hear you faced your memory and can now move on. Blessings to you.
Glad you took the leap, Linda! It freed you to start working on becoming healthy and happy in your life's journey moving forward. As we rid ourselves of old baggage we will step lighter!
Thanks Barbara. I’m once again feeling good about myself and my journey, despite the physical set back. Focusing on the positive things each day.
I have to re-member there is something outside my front door waiting for me. I have to re-member laughter and socializing is what brings fun and comfort. I remember!!!
I love your comment, Elaine, especially the part that there is something outside your front door. Too often these days, people are socializing through their screens and, even though that can be good, I feel like they are missing opportunities to laugh and socialize in person. I fully believe God intends us to do life together. Thanks for your comment.
Graham thank you for this reminder, the more I watch the video more tears . I am on the process of moving forward from my past medical journey. This is a great poem and it reflex to remember my past medical and I can’t seem to unstuck from within me. Take care and God blessed be safe.Cheers!🙏❤️
You have had a journey that most of us can't even imagine. It's understandable that you would still struggle to move forward because you're still in it! I'm hoping that sharing your journey in writing will help when you are encouraged by what your story inspires in others. Give yourself the grace of time, my friend! Hugs to you! 💕
Thank you I been praying and crying and I had a good 1:1 conversation with my therapist. You always know how to lift me up when I need it. Ralph just let me be in my prayer room since he got home been in there since 3:00 this afternoon. 🙏❤️
All the best Lucy. You have come so far. 💕🙏
Thank you Christine I have so many good memories growing up and some not so perfect but it was all good to remember but my past medical I have the hardest struggles of all. Even with the help with therapist this last 7 1/5 years I am still struggling. I am trying my very best to let it go then it hits right back as I blame myself for not advocating or seek second opinion.
You are amazing!
Lucy, You are a great example for everyone. Muchas gracias ❤
Gracias 🙏❤️
I remember the first time I saw him to this day. My body tingled, I was lightheaded and my head was a complete blank. Sound familiar? I'm sure so many of us have had this feeling...attraction to someone right away. Totally on the physical level first but I knew I had to take steps to know him more and I did. We went through high school together and worked in student government where he was the President and I was the Treasurer. He was on varsity baseball and basketball and I was on the Booster Club cheering from the bleachers. When college started we ended up at the same place...he on a sports scholarship and me pursuing my dream to become a teacher. We dated, graduated and married two years later. The perfect love story...
As married life marched on I came to feel different tinglings in my body. As a couple it looked like we had everything...good jobs, children, nice home...but did we? More and more I saw our differences were BIG. We had differing values and goals. He was interested in material things and how it made him feel successful. I wanted to save the world and everyone in it. The list of our differences became unbearably long. I saw it, he saw it. No need for the dirty laundry but after 21 years we finally made it official and ended our marriage.
The aftermath was ugly. I counted on his support financially to help with the kids and he didn't live up to that so I became angry at him and little by little I communicated with him less and we avoided each other at all costs. It was easy enough to do that because he had remarried and moved to another state. The kids and I were on our own. So many years of hardship for me and my children went by and I had never resolved my feelings with their father. They had their estrangements also and awkwardly reconnected after many years. I was thankful for that but I knew in my heart I had to heal my heart also. I wouldn't be able to be free of the wounds unless I faced them.
Little by little at a family gatherings where we were both at we had some small conversations to break the ice. The biggest one came on Grandparents day at my granddaughter's preschool. I was just weeks away from after my heart attack and I saw a difference in our encounter there. He was genuinely concerned for me and spoke to me as a friend. Then just this year I needed help cleaning out my storage shed. My son asked his Dad if he could help me because some of his old things were still stored in it too. He agreed to help.
It was a family endeavor, all of us there at the shed at one time or the other sorting through the stuff that we had in our lives, taking some to the dump and saving as little as possible. But there was a time at the shed that it was just my ex-husband and myself. We spoke to each other kindly and with care. We found our common ground and were able to stand in it together. I realized that we were both Re-membered our relationship and we wanted to heal the wounds. And without words, just the spirit that flowed between us...we finally did.
This is a great story of forgiveness and healing. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you Jody. Took longer than it should have. But we have children and grandchildren we share and can enjoy together. That's a blessing.
All things in time, Barbara, yes? And now you are able to enjoy your children and the grands together. Indeed, a blessing. Thank you for sharing your journey. You write so beautifully.
It is a great feeling to be in the same room together and look over at each other after one of the grandchildren say or do something and smile at each other because we were both a part of that. And our children are happy about not having the elephant sitting in the room any longer.❤🙏
Barbara, what a beautiful ending to a difficult story. I love the way you found healing and forgiveness. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you, Leigh, for adding a like heart to my comment about the terrific turn around Graham's last two poems stirred in me! This may seem peculiar, but it was as if each of his Tuesday poems was like putting a nutricious item on the conveyor belt at a grocery check out. Then - the total rang up week before last and I finally saw how they all fit together. I still have a lot of work to do on eating well and exercising more, but I have been acting from my heart in all my daily activities with people for two weeks. I am happy! Thanks again for appreciating this important milestone in my life.
When I was about 18 I did a painting for someone. I worked hard on it and in the end it became a lithograph. The lady didn’t specify the style of painted art she wanted. I guess she wanted a picture that resembled a photograph painting. She didn’t understand painting and I didn’t understand people. She destroyed the painting. She didn’t understand the pain she caused me and I didn’t say a word to her about it. I learned many lessons but I did know that from that point on I would not paint according to someone’s orders. If they saw something I had painted and wanted it, I would sell or give it to them. I learned to not judge people according to my thoughts. Give people the room to disagree or even lack the knowledge you have. If you can’t reason with them walk away. Jesus said it best if you go into a house to share something good and they inside receive it you bless the house, if they don’t walk away and remove the dirt from your feet. You did your best so now you can move on. You will remember the lessons.
Lucinda
That must have been so devastating. So sorry that happened. Creating is so powerful and deep. I would guess this person was hurting or broken at a deep level that they felt they had to go to that length.
Itskind of likeGods word, so powerful and beautiful andsome trash it or ignore it. He completely gets the pain you felt. He also knows your heart and your honest intention of sharing beauty that you created.
So yes, it is good now that you can share your gift and create for people and not judge.
My own human expectations almost always let me down. Ahhhh every single day.
Bless you for your creative heart and willingness to simply bless others with your gift.
Good morning Graham happy Tuesday to you and to everyone in this community. I woke up early today because I was anticipating Graham’s writing.I remember myself when I was a teenager I fell in love very young and we eloped without thinking of the consequences.There was no alternative our parents allowed us to get married.We stayed with my in laws with many challenges and struggles. I remembered my mother and I realized what I did was wrong.I came to my senses and I decided to ask forgiveness to my mother.I have to face my fear this is the right way to do it. I went to my mother to ask forgiveness.Just like the prodigal son with her two arms she embraced me with her shedding tears.I remember my mother since I was a baby upon her knees she sacrificed everything for me.I stole the gold from her hair I needed her always.She decided to send me to University.I finished my Bachelor of Education through Masteral Degree.I became a successful educator. Although I am now 80 years of age I still remember my mother.Because of her I was able to face my fear.Thank you again Graham for another poem.I was able to share how I faced my fear.Have a good week my friends in this community.
Well, I was lucky because my area of training required that we have psychological support during college, that was so good, because I learned early on the importance of re-signifying life events and learning from them, of course, that there are situations that take me out of my axis, but then I remember the scriptures “even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid..." Luke 12:7 This is where I seek "courage to go in and reconnect with these parts" as difficult as they are, because I know that God allowed it and therefore, I can win, maybe not in my time, but in God's time!
Perfect Angela!!!❤️
Hi Angela ~ wanted to ask you a question because I'm not sure I understand GW's poem. Like you I was lucky because I had to go through extensive therapy to get my counseling degree. I learned to reframe feelings & life experiences. I have had a lot of paradigm shifts in my life & continue to all the time. I'm so self-aware I almost drive myself crazy with it -- because I am definitely a flawed human being. Can you help me understand today's message?
Hi Jan,
I'll highlight the following verse, because that's where I understood the message (or I think I did):
“I will need to re-member
In this life or the next
I must face it all
It cannot be avoided”
I understood that GW encourages us to face all the moments of life, whether comfortable or not, and learn lessons, so the poem says “I will need to remember”, I understand that it is “remembering” to change the Anglo, the perspective of how I see a certain situation and identify where the “broken parts” are in order to rebuild them and establish new connections, generating a “sense of responsibility” for our life, because “there is nothing I can escape, I have to face everything”.
When you say "I've had a lot of paradigm shifts in my life and I keep going all the time" that's the heart of the poem, it's through change - whatever it may be - that we face circumstances and realign with our true selves, making us more empowered, I loved this explanation GW “you gain your power back and you become more and more of your true self, your authentic self, more empowered and more able to live your life the way you always dreamed of” .
Well, that's what I understood, I hope my writing is understandable - lol
P.S.: I loved that you asked me this question, so we can talk and learn more, thank you!
Angela ~ maybe GW means something as simple as giving an apology. Recently, (after 6 months) I apologized to a young gal because I had been pretty “assertive” with her about where she & her friends sat in our community theatre – during Co-Vid seating. I said, “I’m so sorry the teacher came out in me when you didn’t want to sit where I put you.”
Very graciously she said, “No problem! We were out of line.” She continued, “I spend most of August writing I’m sorry notes.” Ha! I think she & I may become friends.
Perhaps, I try to get too deep with GW’s poems (hazard of being an old English teacher). Of course, we all feel better -- relieved -- when we face our problems and also relate to others through love & honesty -- every day. Do you think I simplified this too much now? ~ J.
WOW. It is in the simple that we have the best answers!
Your example was perfect and it is in line with what i understood in the poem and in the explanation by GW, especially when he says, when we realign, we become more authentic.
Thanks for the validation, Angela. xoxo
His explanation is a little abstract for me. I could use more examples -- if only hypothetical. Thanks!
I love collaborative conversations, if what I've said isn't enough, let's keep talking.
I will think on this for a little longer tonight & get back to you. I love discussions too! Thanks!
Thank you for another great, thought provoking poem Graham. Just yesterday a situation arose that bought up feelings of something that has been pushed down for many years. I know that I need to have this bought to the fore and healed so I can move on and not react in a negative way in the future. I want to move on in a way that things of the past are remembered in a good way and not bring up negative feelings.
I want the same thing Teresa. It's not an easy thing & I know it's something I am continually trying to work on. 💕
Thanks for this lovely poem Graham. It truly reminded me that there is a definite re-connect I need to make in my life. It is very personal, and so I won't elaborate here at this time. The poem and your words ignited my mind and made me further realize what I need to do before it is too late. Before I run out of time and have to live on with much guilt. Thank you again Graham, for a job well done. The Podcast today was fabulous. I could listen to you forever. 108 minutes of pure entertainment!!!!👏👏👏👏👏❤❤❤
Kathleen, sending prayers for your reconnect. Trust your faith to help you, I feel you will find inner peace and more blessings will come. It may not be easy but it will be worth it.
Thank You Linda.
Praying for you for a successful "reconnection". It won't be easy, but it should be worth it.
Thank You Jody
Kathleen, I hope that you do make that re-connect in your life. I'm certain, especially after reflecting on Graham's poem, that it will lighten you up and you will feel free from that weight. I wish you strength of mind and spirit to take that on. Much love...
Thank You Barbara.
Praying for you Kathleen to have the strength to do what you need to.
Thanks Leigh .
I am going through this at the moment. I have gained some of my confidence back, but haven't fully let go of the fear from the past. I need to re-member that I can do this, I have before & will again. I am slowly working up to facing my fear & know I will get past it soon.
I also wanted to say that this poem really hit home for me. It made me really think about what I need to do & how I do have the strength to move forward & not to let past memories consume me. Thank you Graham for your amazing poetry & making me reflect on my life. 🙏💕